Safe sleep in winter

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Many new parents worry about safe sleep in winter.

Is baby too hot? Too cold? Is she/he at risk of smothering or SIDS? There are so many ideas, tips and old wives tales out there that it can be confusing. Babies who don’t sleep well with the onset of cooler weather may be too hot or too cold. No surprises there, but how do you make sure your baby is snug and warm, not too hot and safe as well?
If your baby is too cold, he or she may just not settle and get into as deep a sleep as usual. He or she may wake a bit more frequently than usual. You may find feeding is a little more frequent as they attempt to get warmth from feeding (warm milk)and a cuddle.
IF too hot, an older baby will become sweaty and possibly cranky. A newborn usually doesn’t sweat and has limited ability to create warmth. He or she will become very red looking and cranky and will feel very hot.
Your baby’s head is a large surface area that is used for temperature regulation when too hot particularly. Your baby’s hands and feet can be a little cool and not be a problem. Hands and feet also have a large surface area to help with cooling if too hot. Usually as long as their torso feels toasty that is the main guide for warmth.

 

Safe winter sleep guidelines:

• Use breathable, natural fibre clothing and bedding, preferably fire retardant. ( natural fibers like cotton and wool are also warmer)
• Dressing and wrapping baby in layers of thinner fabrics is much more effective than using one or two thick layers
• Keep open flames or heating elements well away from curtains or where blankets may fall on them
• Always supervise when any heating device is in use around little ones
• Expect your baby to be a little more thirsty if the room is warmed

 

 

When the weather cools down the idea of snuggling in bed with your baby is even more attractive. However, with our knowledge of SIDS, many parents are scared of having their baby in their bed with them in case they roll on them or endanger them in some way. But with those uncomfortable cold winter nights where no-one wants to get out from under their covers the temptation to have your baby in bed with you, even for the last sleep stint before you get up in the morning, can be really enticing. In fact, many parents inadvertently fall asleep at that last feed of the night and wake up in the morning thinking, “Oh, I wasn’t going to do that.”
If you do find your baby in bed with you there are things you can do to minimise risks to your baby and ensure your shared bed is a safe sleep space. Make sure that:
• Your baby is on top of your covers and has his or her own bed clothes( a sleeping bag works really well)
• Your mattress or bedding is firm
• Only one adult is responsible for the safety and wellbeing of your baby
• Your baby is in bed with safe sleepers – no one affected by sleeping tablets, drugs or alcohol
If you plan on co-sleeping with your baby, or just end up co-sleeping as the weather cools down, be sure to read my article on co-sleeping here safe sleep space  for more tips.
Hopefully these tips will help you get your baby sleeping through the night with this onset of colder weather.

 

Safe sleep in winter is just as important as any other time.

Need more help with your baby’s sleep?  Purchase my baby sleep ebook HERE  or  if you want to find out how to enjoy awesome days and blissful nights with your baby  go here   to find out more.

 

Baby sleeping problems- Reflux and babies who don’t sleep.

 

 

Reflux is so very common these days. I have difficulty believing that it is normal for so many babies to be in such discomfort. I have to say I can’t believe mother nature would make so many babies have this uncomfortable thing on purpose. Especially when it causes so many sleep problems in babies.

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Reflux occurs when the acid contents of the baby’s stomach wash up in to the baby’s oesophagus. Sometimes babies vomit often and particularly around feeding times. For others there is no vomiting but the symptoms of discomfort are very obvious. These include back arching and crying, sometimes being very rigid in their body, coughing or swallowing after feeds and needing to be upright most of the time.

 
I do believe it is an affliction of our modern life. I intend absolutely no blame here. Medical professionals, mums, therapists, healers, myself- all are doing our best in the way we know how to help mums and families not only manage a baby in distress from reflux, but also to look at ways to avoid it.

 
For those families experiencing reflux, you know that sleep is a scarce commodity and a precious one as a result. Any baby who is in some discomfort will have difficulty with sleep. Catnaps are common and also for sleeping against mum or dad’s chest , usually because being upright is more comfortable than lying horizontal. The problem with this is that mum or dad become exhausted because they are constantly holding their baby. In times gone by when families we’re closer, there would have been another pair of arms to help but in our modern ways when families are often geographically distant it all falls to the few and they quickly become drained and exhausted,thus causing a viscious cycle of tiredness, emotional responses rather than objective clear thinking.

 
In all families experiencing reflux, using posture and possibly different milks is the first line of intervention. With breastfeeding, we’d look at dietary tweaks as a way to help reduce or avoid reflux as a possible option. It is not easy and does take time. Medication and more intensive medical therapies is always secondary and surgery a last resort when other things fail.
Osteopathy or chiropractics may be helpful also.

 
Pre biotics and pro biotics are also mentioned as being useful. Pre biotics are the specific simple sugars that feed the probiotics. Probiotics are the good bacteria that live in the gut and help to break down food adequately.

 
Often in babies with “reflux”- the gut “health” is impaired. All of you in tune with food and our bodies are already aware of the types of foods/herbs that repair gut health. In some it may take a little longer to repair. And for those babies who have a more complex problem that is more than this, it won’t be the only answer either.

 
Reflux may be a very real problem in babies who don’t sleep. For those experiencing baby sleeping problems, whether your baby has reflux as a cause is worth considering.

Sleep Training-When to start baby sleep training

 

Sleep training and more specifically when to start baby sleep training can be confusing when you first start reading about this topic.  For a new parent who is focussed on being their best and doing their best for their baby it can be quite difficult when fatigue is the over-riding state of being.

 

There is no right time for infant sleep training or trying ways to succeed in getting baby to sleep.  Some parents are happy to wait until their baby is much older, while others choose to start implementing healthy habits from day one.

 

The important thing to remember  is that your baby is an immature being who needs your support, patience and understanding.  Where many parents come unstuck is having unrealistic expectations of their baby.

 

Sleep training is often implemented when parents wish for their baby to sleep all night. One of the key things to remember in getting your baby to sleep is that there is a developmental stage when sleeping through the night is a realistic outcome for your baby. Any efforts before then are wasted because your baby is just not able to do that.  It becomes frustrating and stressful for everyone.

So when to start your baby sleep training is an individual choice starting firstly with considering  your baby’s developmental ability. Yes you absolutely can start implementing helpful sleep habit before this time, however it is important to be accepting that it will not be successful in the first months every time.

 

Parents with expectations that their efforts in getting baby to sleep will for the most part be unsuccessful initially will do best.  Patience, perseverance and understanding will help you through those early months while you are both learning about each other, behaviours and how you fit together.

 

When to start sleep training can be done from day one with realistic expectations of the outcomes of infant sleep training.

 

Healthy families and "toxic oil" and "poison sugar"

On a different note, I have been exploring the topics of “toxic oil” and “sugar is poison” ideas that have been floating around. I had wondered about them and finally got to read about it and look a little more closely at it.  After much reading, I think I have an idea of where they are coming from. At first I thought they were talking about all oil /fats and sugar full stop, however I now understand that they are talking about the processed ones that are not so good for us and may well have a large stake in our problems with obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancers.  This makes more sense to me.

Why am I so interested?  I have always been interested in healthy living and eating. I love food and those who know me, know I love sweet stuff. I have a sweet tooth to rival any in the land.  I, and my siblings have never been physically sick from eating too much sweet or junk, ever. We were brought up eating healthy.  Junk food was limited  but we regularly had sweet treats- all home made. The thought of going without sweet food is very hard for me to accept.

I am often baffled by announcements in general media about certain new super foods that we absolutely must consume to live a healthy life and going into an organic shop is overwhelming for me. I feel  baffled by all the things in there that I have never heard of and supposedly should eat.  Don’t get me wrong, I am all for no pesticides and ethical and sustainable farming practices especially coming from a farming background. I am also into simplicity.

 This is a snippet of what I have learned.

Simple sugar is used by every cell in our body. This is glucose. Also known as dextrose.  Simple sugars are ok for us. Any processed sugars are not. Sucrose is not so good for us and any modified sugars are not good for us. Sugars are processed by the pancreas. The pancreas produces insulin.  There are many people with insulin resistance and more and more commonly I am seeing it in newborn babies in special care nursery with  insulin resistance or low blood sugars in the first few days of life and needing to be on a drip to help stabilise it.  This scares me- the fact that newborns are having trouble with blood sugar.  Something is amiss.

This all leads me towards the questions I have about why so many babies have reflux type symptoms as small babies.  Reflux in infants is often what we see and treat when it is food reaction but difficult at that age to identify. There is too much of it around and I still am confused  about why. So this also got me thinking about babies and unsettled tummies and food reactions.

So I continue on my search for understanding about unsettled infants. It is by no means a simple answer but there has to be one out there.

 Unprocessed, varied diets with plenty of protein, unprocessed fats and sugars, and plant foods is the best way to get on the right track.

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Is using a dummy for my baby really all that bad?

Using a dummy for your baby often brings up conflicting ideas and feelings. Most new parents have the firm idea that they are absolutely not going to use a dummy for their baby. 

Often the reality of life with a new baby is very different to their imagined life with a new baby and these are the very ones who quickly resort to using a dummy and feel guilty about it. Somehow they often feel like a failure or a bad parent for using a dummy.

 I think the emotional pull that you feel and the deep, deep tiredness are the two things that prospective parents grossly under estimate.  These are the two things that also mean that dealing with your crying baby is incredibly difficult.   When you take away the emotional element and the exhaustion it is much easier to be patient and work through why your baby is crying and calmly helping to soothe him or her.

 Baby dummies or pacifiers, can be a Godsend for those early days with a little baby.  Everything is new, you are sleep deprived and often feel overwhelmed with all the needs of a newborn.  Using a dummy can be such a helpful little tool for many when you are trying to get your head around life with a new baby.

  Dummies can absolutely be very helpful for your baby when that need to suck is particularly strong. For families where breastfeeding is not an option for whatever reason, the dummy can be doubly helpful. You see, very young babies  have a strong need to suck. Sucking is soothing for them . Breastfed babies often take longer to feed in the first few months.  Whereas bottles are downed in minutes  and so that need to suck often doesn’t get fulfilled as well for bottle feeding babies.   Dummies used appropriately , responsibly and not just to stop your baby crying, can be helpful. When they are misused  I do not advocate them at all.

 Of course there are also babies who just have a really strong need to suck – more than most. For all these babies a dummy can be the thing that saves everyone’s sanity- including your baby.

 Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating you use a dummy for all babies.  However, if it means  that life is more manageable in those first few weeks and months while you get used to adjusting to life with a new baby then I can see the benefit of it.  Having said that I also think it is your responsibility to wean off the dummy once it is practical to do so in your situation. As a minimum when  your baby can competently find his or her hands to help soothe is a valid consideration.

Once again, respecting and supporting parents considered choices and informed decisions is always encouraged first and foremost in any debate surrounding parenting choices. When working out whether, for you, is using a dummy for your baby really all that bad?, it is your decision and you can change your mind.

Baby crying during sleep

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Have you heard your baby cry during the night, or day, during sleep?

It is a common thing and very normal for babies to do this. Even adults will talk, moan and make all sorts of noises in their sleep. 

Babies will cry during sleep.  This confuses and upsets a lot of parents.  Because it appears your baby is upset, parents may think their baby is awake and go and pick them up.  Sometimes, if your baby is actually still asleep, it may wake him or her when you do this. If this happens it often makes your baby more distressed because he or she is now woken from a lovely comfortable sleep.

It is the same as if you or I are woken from a sleep. We often feel more groggy , regardless of how much sleep we have had, and it may take us a little while to focus and “get our head together”, so to speak.

 The crying during sleep usually occurs when he or she is transitioning from REM sleep to a deeper form of sleep. It usually last no longer than about 5 minutes. In most occurrences it takes less than 2 minutes.  If you just wait a minute or two you may be surprised that your baby stops and continues to sleep more deeply all on their own.

 This can be difficult for parents to understand because the cry during sleep can be a big loud  cry and seem like there is something wrong.  Of course if your baby is distressed and needs you to help then absolutely you need to respond.  Sometimes it takes parents a couple of times to stop and realise that maybe their baby is ok and have the confidence to wait a minute or two before going to help.

 Other times when your baby will cry during sleep is if there is some form of discomfort from teeth, wind or other illness or injury. Of course give comfort when needed.

PS.  We always  encourage you  to respond to your baby crying if you know that your baby is distressed.

Calming a crying baby

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One of the most challenging things for new parents is their dealing with and calming their crying baby. I see new parents every week.  In fact I see new parents nearly everyday and this is usually their number one issue.

For most of us crying is usually seen as a negative thing.  Usually it is because it involves feelings of empathy in most of us and when we see someone else crying we know how it feels when you are so upset that it brings you to tears.
Of course there are happy tears too but for this discussion I am talking about sad tears.
For most parents when their baby cries it feels like there is something very wrong and that it is bad for your baby to cry. It doesn’t help when other people particularly strangers come up to you and give you advice on what you should do or why your baby is crying.  Of course they mean well but they are more than likely prompted by their own feelings of discomfort when they hear someone cry.  One parent said to me when someone did this to her in a shopping centre, “ Thank you for telling me what my baby needs, but a my baby’s mother I think I would know much better what she needs.”
What I am getting to is that baby’s cry. And yes they are telling you something but please don’t take it as a negative. When babies are little their crying is like talking only they don’t know how to put it into words yet. They are saying there is something going on with me, please help.  Sometimes it is just over tired and this can seem really hard to get your head around.
If you have gone through the list of possible things it might be, such as hungry, belly ache, happy, hot, cold, wind, it is probable that your baby just needs a sleep or rest. Sometimes it can take up to 20 minutes for your baby to calm, then to relax and then to get to sleep.
If you find it is just going on or if you are feeling concerned that something is not right ,ask someone.  Sometimes some reassurance is all you need or just a few different ideas on thing to try in calming a crying baby..