When over tired

In previous weeks, we’ve talked about the importance of catching early tired signs and that there are early and late tired signs. We have also touched on how your baby is affected by too little sleep or missing early tired signs.

 

Today I’d like to talk a little about what happens when your baby is overtired. Usually this is when most people think it is normal to put your baby to sleep. And yes, you will have to put your baby to sleep when he or she is overtired.

 

When you have caught the early tired signs you can give your baby the opportunity to self settle. When your baby is over tired that is probably not realistic to expect. At least not with young babies. Older babies who know about sleep may be able to go off to sleep for themselves when over tired if they know how.

 

When your baby is over tired he or she is so wound up and over stimulated and overwhelmed that he or she just can’t unwind enough to relax for sleep. Your baby doesn’t know that he or she is overtired, they just know they feel crappy and need you to help him or her feel better.

 

It may take up to half an hour or so for your baby to unwind. It may take longer. Generally we expect at least 20 minutes, then another 10-15 minutes to relax and then another 10 minutes or so to get to sleep. That is a normal expectation when your baby is over tired. It may even be a little longer.

 

When you are helping your baby to sleep be prepared to have to last the distance. Expecting your baby to be asleep after 5 or 10 minutes when over tired is usually unrealistic. If you calmly persevere in helping your baby you will usually achieve sleep of some sort however be prepared for it to be a short one and to have to repeat what you have just done to help build more sleep.

 

We’re here to help if your baby’s sleep is confusing you, if it's “hard work” all the time or if it could use some tweaking


And make sure to follow Insync with Infants on Facebook for more tips and hints on great baby sleep. (click here)

What’s all the fuss about early tired signs?

Early tired signs are now well known to be one of the important points to your baby settling more easily for sleep.

 

Why is it important to catch early tired signs?

 

At the stage of early tired signs your baby is still happy and relaxed. Once late tired signs kick in usually your baby is less relaxed, feels more uptight and as a result needs more from you to help him or her relax again in readiness for sleep.

 

When you see early tired signs your baby will still look happy and relaxed. This usually trips people up because they think “ oh he (or she) isn’t tired yet, he’s still smiling and happy”.

 

It is also important to know that there is only a short window of time between early tired signs and late tired signs. When you see late tired signs your baby is actually over tired. When your baby is over tired he or she usually needs some form of help to get to sleep.

 

The important part about early tired signs is that your baby has a better chance of going to sleep on his or her own and not needing any help. This is really important for that easy sleep we are all after in little ones. It is easier to go to sleep when you are relaxed than when you are over tired. So yes it is important to catch early tired signs.

How do sleep cycles affect your baby's sleep?

Most of us are aware of sleep cycles. As adults we have learned to sleep from one cycle to the next
without any fuss or trouble.

 

The exception may be if it is raining heavily outside or storming, a dog is barking or there is something very different to normal happening at night. this is when we may wake up between sleep cycles and check out what is going on. As adults we usually can go back to sleep easily.

 

Your baby also has sleep cycles. Newborns have quite short cycles- as short as 20 minutes. As your baby grows the sleep cycles lengthen gradually. Babies often wake up between cycles and this is a normal part of newborns. It doesn’t always mean they have to be entertained when he or she wakes, just that it is the break form one cycle to the next.

 

The waking that you see between short cycles is not always actual waking. With newborns, that waking may just be a light sleep between cycles. This is the bit that often trips people up:

 

New parents are so in love with their baby and so committed to be the best parent they can, not harming their baby and ensuring their baby gets everything they could possibly need, parents often inadvertently misinterpret light sleep for wake and wake up their baby when they probably needed to go back to sleep and weren’t really awake at all.

 

This can be really tricky and can be quite confounding to begin with. As time goes on it will be easier to work out when your baby needs to go back to sleep and when he or she is ok to stay awake for some play or talk time.

Sleep associations & healthy baby sleep

Sleep associations

 

[caption id="attachment_2523" align="alignleft" width="150"] healthy baby sleep[/caption]

 

When we talk about healthy sleep, how sleep works and how to maximise sleep for anyone not only your baby, knowing about sleep associations is an important part of it all.  Knowing about sleep associations will help you trouble shoot sleep problems and get you the sleep you are after.

Sleep associations come into play in light sleep states. Generally if what was happening when you  went to sleep isn’t happening in light sleep, you will usually wake up because the trigger for sleep isn’t there any more. This is a sleep association.

Basically the thing that is associated with sleep usually needs to be there  at light sleep to give that signal that it is still sleep time. Remember light sleep is usually just a lighter consciousness ideally, Not a complete wake up.

For your baby the same applies.  This is often one of the main reasons that  your baby may at times wake up after a short time and need help to get back to sleep again.

Once your baby knows about sleep  this is not such a big factor. When learning about sleep it is a bigger influence.

Sleep associations can be termed helpful or unhelpful. As long as they are working they are helpful. When they are not, they are unhelpful.  Sleep associations can start out being helpful and then change into being unhelpful after a time.  As your baby grows and matures what once was helpful may become unhelpful. This is how some sleep difficulties inadvertently come around.

 

Young babies will usually require a number of  things to help him or her sleep. When you use a number of things for sleep some of them may eventually be unhelpful and some will always remain helpful.  If there are a few associations we can wean off the unhelpful ones when they are no longer helpful. In this way you still have helpful ones so you are not trying to start something new at a time that is stressful for everyone.

Night time routine

Night time routine

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] night time sleep routine[/caption]

 

Most new parents find their baby’s night time wakings a rude shock to the system.  They quickly find out that the tiredness you experience as a parent is very different to the tiredness you feel as a partying young adult with no children. As a parent there is no night off, and no sleep in the next day either! Think about going out partying late into the night every night and then getting up to go to work and trying to perform at your job - every day. You would probably not be looking, feeling or performing at your best.  Sleep deprivation can impact on your mood, health, judgement, decision making and so many other important skills. Any parent will tell you there are no days off, so it is essential to minimise the disruption to a good night’s sleep.

 

Babies are immature little beings who wake at night for any number of reasons, importantly they need night feeds until around six months of age. We understand this and accept it.  You can streamline night time wakings by developing night time habits that assist everyone to go back to sleep easier.

 

Five top tips to minimise night time waking:

 

1. Swaddling - Swaddling newborns if they are in their own cot or bassinet is the number one tool to help babies sleep at night.  This would be our most important habit to use to help your night time get better.

 

2.  Low lights - Only turn on the light if you really need to. Keep lights down low so that you keep baby as drowsy as possible so that he or she hopefully settles easily at the end of the feed.

 

3. Avoid changes -  Only change nappy if you need to. If you are using disposables be aware they are designed to soak up a lot of fluid. Your may be able to go all night comfortably without a change.

 

4. Quiet - Use a gentle, calm, soft and quiet voice and keep talking to a minimum.

 

5. Avoid play time at night -   Remember just because your baby is ready for play doesn’t mean you have to play with them. Let your baby play if he or she wants- you don’t have to join in. There is plenty of opportunity to play during the day. By reducing stimulation it encourages your baby to settle back to sleep easier.
There are a number of habits you can employ to foster a helpful nighttime routine. These top tips are a great place to start. For more information get one of our resources here-    http://insyncwithinfants.com/baby-sleep/

Heating rooms in winter for snuggly baby sleep

Heating

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] safe winter sleep[/caption]

 
Heating rooms in winter to take the chill off the air is a common practice for many parents and is also a common dilemma for many. This is mostly to keep the babies room at a constant temperature in an effort to ensure baby sleeps through the night. It is also nicer for the person going to the baby in the middle of the night if the room is a little warmer.
Is it necessary? In Australia - No.

Not unless you live somewhere where the temperature is constantly low and the building you are in is always cold.

 

Many avid campers go camping in cold weather and manage a baby well with appropriate clothing and layering.

 

Even though the air temperature may be low, if your baby is rugged up in swaddles and blankets and appropriate clothing there may be no need to heat the room.
If you do decide to heat the room, we would encourage you just to take the chill off the air not to heat it to a tropical summer island holiday type of temperature. Different seasons offer us different positives and experiences. Winter is no different. It is up to us to adapt.
Enclosed heating devices or reverse cycle air conditioners are the most preferred heating appliances mostly from a safety perspective and also from an energy efficiency consideration.
Heating a room using any means usually has the effect of dehydrating the room and anything in the room. People will often notice potplants needing a little more water. Adults will also notice that they are more thirsty or may even feel like they are hung over if the heating is too high and causes dehydration.

 

Something as simple as putting a bowl of cold water in the room that is heated may help towards stabilising the moisture content in the room.
Babies can easily dehydrate and if you are using even low level heating , may be a little more thirsty and may want to feed for a little longer or have an extra feed. It is realistic to expect this however it may not be noticeable.

 

If you do decide to heat the room in winter for snuggly baby sleep, I hope these ideas will help you.

Swaddling and blankets

[caption id="attachment_2506" align="alignleft" width="150"] snugly winter sleep[/caption]

 

 

Now that winter is here are you thinking - to swaddle or not to swaddle? How can I keep my wiggly baby warm and safe? Are blankets better and warmer than swaddling? Do you need to change what you are doing?

 

 

There is no need to change what you are doing if it is working for you. Remember this Insync with Infants mantra, “there is no problem unless it is a problem for you”. This is our standard advice with anything- if it isn’t broke, then don’t fix it!

 

 

Young babies under three months of age usually respond well to swaddling. We would continue this for as long as it is helpful. Generally a newborns startle reflex disappears around three months of age and any time after that that swaddling may not be as magical. It doesn’t mean you have to stop swaddling though. There are many seven, nine or even 12 month old babies who still enjoy being swaddled for sleep even though they may wiggle out of the swaddle before they go to sleep. For others babies swaddling may not have been helpful from a much younger age.

 

 

So, swaddle or blanket? Personal preference really. I personally think babies are warmer swaddled. They can have a number of layers of swaddling or have a swaddle and then a couple of layers of blankets over them and tucked under the mattress to keep them extra toasty. Blankets that are tucked under the edges of the mattress usually provide a little more warmth than if edges are not tucked.

 

 

It is equally ok to have just blankets. Blankets and swaddles should be made of natural breathable fibres. A number of layers of thinner fabrics works better and is warmer than one or two thick layers. Man-made synthetic fibres are generally not as warm as natural fibres that trap a layer of air next to the skin and keep the warmth next to our body more stable. Thinner layers also protect against overheating (a SIDS risk) by being breathable.

 

 

If your baby is in your bed with you a sleeping bag or blankets is better from a safety point of view than swaddling. When your baby is in your bed with you he or she gets warmth from you and generally stay warmer at a more steady temperature than if in their own cot or bassinet.

 

For most parents a combination of swaddling and blankets works well to help babies sleeping through the night in winter.

 

Follow Insync with Infants on Facebook for more tips and hints on great baby sleep in winter.

PS. Join our webinar Wednesday 18th JUne-8pm-   "Layering for warmth- best options for snuggly sleep". Click here to register-

https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/layering-for-warmth-best-options-for-snuggly-sleep-tickets-11914575817

 

snugly winter sleep

Baby sleeping

 

Baby sleeping all night-Does your baby’s personality affect sleep in babies who don’t sleep?
Parents struggling with their baby not sleeping all night often wonder if their baby’s personality is part of the cause.

 

Afterall, amongst adults there are varying amounts of sleep per night that are considered normal or adequate for effective functioning.
Often I hear parents say out loud maybe it’s my baby’s personality that makes my baby one who doesn’t sleep. My response is yes , personality can absolutely be a part of your baby’s good or not so good sleep. The good news is that we can always build habits/ routines around sleep so that they all get what they need for sleep.

 
My biggest babies sleeping tip is to follow their lead. If you can follow what your baby needs from you at each point in the day, you can’t go wrong. The tricky bit is working out what that is and timing it right too. This may sound impossible or hard work at the least, however once you are aware of what to look for and are aware of what is reasonable for their developmental ability it becomes much easier. You as a parent don’t have to do the research into this because, guess what, it has all been done for you. Over the previous 50-100 years researchers have been watching, documenting and comparing behaviours, needs and responses for decades all so that it can become easier for you.

 
Afterall if it is easier for you to look after your baby, both you and your baby are going to be happier, you as a parent will enjoy the experience more, feel more confident and empowered and have a stronger relationship with your baby. Stronger family relationships mean stronger community relationships and the snow ball effect from there means greater self esteem, prosperity and country health and wellbeing.
Got off on a tangent. Coming back to the point. Yes your baby’s personality does have an effect on sleep but not to the effect where he or she is overtired all the time from lack of sleep. Your baby may not need as much sleep as another however each and every one of us, your baby included, needs a certain amount to function effectively and feel calm and relaxed.

 

This is the most important bit. If your baby has only 10 hours sleep in a 24 hour period and is calm relaxed and thriving, all good. However if your baby gets 16 hours and is still cranky, upset and needy a little more sleep may make a big difference, even 1 hour can make a big impact.

 

Babies who don’t sleep and babies who sleep all night can both be affected by personality, however the amount of time spent by your baby sleeping needs to be suitable to him or her as an individual.
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Baby Sleeping -  Babies Who Don't Sleep

To enjoy your baby sleeping he or she must first get to sleep. Babies who don't sleep often either don't know how,  are not given the best opportunities to go to sleep or simply can't because of discomfort.

The good news is that this is all changeable with a little bit of knowledge.

Most of you who know me or have worked with me know that I am often talking about building sleep in babies who are overtired to help get their babies to sleep.  When we are discussing what is happening or not happening for sleep so we can work out what steps to take, the knowledge that sleep builds sleep often takes people by surprise.

 

All too often when we explore what has been trialled, I hear that they have tried everything including keeping their baby up longer hoping that it would completely tire him or her out and so sleep better. Unfortunately that is the exact opposite of what would be helpful.

 

To get good quality sleep, you need to be relaxed.  When any of us are overtired, we tend to have more difficulty going off to sleep. The same is true for your baby sleeping and also for your toddler.

 

When this idea is new to you , it can take a little while to get your head around.  For a lot of us it doesn’t seem to make to make sense.  Most people think that if any of us are over tired we will just go to sleep because we are exhausted.

 

At times this may appear true. Certainly there are many, many babies who do this every day.  They are so beyond overtired that they just crash, often after being awake for hours on end , beyond what they can cope with.  Most times, they are cranky and not happy when awake. Usually sleep will occur in waves with a few nights of problem sleep and then one or two nights of blissful sleep.  When good sleep is not sustained like this there is usually a problem of overtiredness.

 

Babies who don't sleep can become a baby sleeping peacefully and without fuss in most situations, once we work out what is and is not happening for your baby around sleep.

HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS HAPPY BABY-

 

Healthy sleep habits happy baby

 

[caption id="attachment_2275" align="alignleft" width="124"] Grow your confidence, your baby's laughter and joy, and both of you will sparkle and shine through anything.[/caption]

Healthy sleep habits make for a happy baby.  This is a concept that is confusing and surprising for many new parents wanting a happy baby and happy child. When we all have healthy sleep habits we get happy child, happy teen and happy adult. It is no secret to those of us who have studied this concept and sleep method that the result of proper sleep habits is happy all round.

 

 

So how come this is so new to many?  I guess it is because all this knowledge has been lost over the generations with families now living further away.  On top of that families are more fractured and distant than before and in western cultures our expectations from life are skewed to unrealistic proportion that only puts pressure on ourselves and our relationships.

 

 

As more people understand the value of proper sleep and see the difference in happy baby and happy child, this information will become second nature again.

 

We are aiming to encourage healthy sleep habits happy baby so that each one is set  for a lifetime of healthy sleep habits. There is often a misconception that baby sleep training is harsh, disrespectful and soul destroying for baby and parent. This doesn’t have to be so.  When you understand your baby’s behaviours and cues more accurately, these healthy sleep habits are respectful of everyone.

 

 

Parents are seeking more gentle sleep methods that teach proper sleeping habits not just a quick fix while their baby continues to be cranky and unhappy because good sleep habits  elude them more often than not.

 

This method of teaching proper an healthy sleep habits takes a little longer than traditional baby sleep training methods however the benefits  are long term, positive and healthy.

 

Healthy sleep habits happy baby is the standard we are aiming for and not harsh, strict routines and practices that are disrespectful of both baby and mother.

Sleeping baby- Why doesn’t my baby just go to sleep?

 

[caption id="attachment_1803" align="alignleft" width="150"] baby-not-sleeping[/caption]

Sleeping baby usually brings images of cute baby, laughing baby and smiling baby. We all fall in love with a baby who is relaxed, happy and is easy to care for. A baby who seemingly sleeps easily, wakes happy, feeds well and is generally a joy to be with.

 

For many new parents this is only a dream in the first weeks and months as they struggle to work out how to help their precious newborn baby be one who is a smiling baby more often than not.

 

Many new parents wonder why my baby doesn’t sleep even though he or she is tired.  This can certainly be a confusing time for parents. After all babies are easy to look after aren’t they?  They are so small surely it can’t be that bad?

It is many a parent who says how can something so small because so much work and take up so much time? Where did my cute baby go?

 

So why doesn’t a newborn baby just go to sleep when they are tired?   It is important to remember that a newborn baby is immature.  He or she is completely dependent on their caregiver for everything and they know this.  Your baby is also very responsive and geared for survival. Their senses are taking in everything in their environment so they can learn as quickly as possible.  The difficult thing is that your baby may find it difficult to switch off when they are feeling saturated with stimulating activities. All their sense are turned on for survival so sight, sound, touch and smell are all turned up.

 

Babies can get overstimulated really easily.  Often more quickly than we think is reasonable. When your baby changes from being a cute baby and smiling baby to one who is cranky, it often means that he or she needs to sleep.  Your baby is relying on your to help him or her to get to sleep.

 

If you have a sleeping baby you will have a laughing baby who is happy and easier to care for and enjoy

Enter our March competition

Enter our March competition.

We are delighted to offer you the chance to win one of these gorgeous tutus this month. There are 5 colours to choose from

They are made by The fabulous Ruby Abbott this is her facebook page in case you would like to check them out more.

https://www.facebook.com/AliceRoseDesigns  .  All you have to do is comment on this blog post to win one. Sizes range from newborn to size 10.  Good luck . Enter now below.

[caption id="attachment_2421" align="alignleft" width="150"] White-girls-tutu[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2420" align="alignleft" width="150"] red-girls-tutu[/caption]

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[caption id="attachment_2417" align="alignleft" width="150"] Win-baby-pink-girls-tutu[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2418" align="alignleft" width="150"] yellow-girls-tutu[/caption]

How to make baby have longer day sleep

[caption id="attachment_2402" align="alignleft" width="150"] How to help baby sleep longer[/caption]

I am asked regularly how to make a baby have longer day sleep. Today I am going to discuss this a bit more.

 

I often trip over myself working out where to start with this question. There are a number of things to consider. These include age of the baby, developmental level of the baby, any habits that are in place, what is working , what isn’t working, is the baby overtired, is the baby getting adequate sleep overall, what is happening at night, is the baby well, is the parent well, what is happening in the environment.

 

I want to know as much background information as I can so that I can put it all together and get a really good idea of what is happening not only for sleep but also feeding, family habits, beliefs and values. Sleep and feeding go hand in hand so I would want to know about feeding too.

 

Sometimes  a short day sleep is perfectly normal.

 

The times when we think that  a baby probably would do better with a longer day sleep the things I would look at is refining the sleep cues. This just means  looking at whether the cues that this particular baby have for sleep, are easy for the baby to reproduce or is the baby completely dependent on outside sources for sleep. Remember we all have sleep cycles and when we come into light sleep if what was happening for sleep is no longer happening, your baby may wake .  I also like to reiterate early sleep cues so that your baby is not completely over tired when you want your baby to go to sleep.

 

The main things I would look at are early tired signs and helpful sleep cues.  How we start would depend on whether your baby is really overtired or not. If really overtired  then we may work on building sleep first then addressing the habits.

 

Sometimes what the family wants to do is not compatible with where the baby is at developmentally.   And that is a different kettle of fish.

 

The next time you or someone you know  asks  how to make their  baby have longer day sleep, how we approach it depends largely on what is happening and then tailoring the response  to that.

How babies sleep

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] 8 week old baby's daytime sleep[/caption]

Have you heard your baby cry during the night, or day, during sleep? It is a common thing and very normal for babies to do this. Even adults will talk, moan and make all sorts of noises in their sleep.

 

Babies will cry during sleep.  This confuses and upsets a lot of parents.  Because it appears your baby is upset, parents may think their baby is awake and go and pick them up.  Sometimes, if your baby is actually still asleep, it may wake him or her when you do this. If this happens it often makes your baby more distressed because he or she is now woken from a lovely comfortable sleep.

 

It is the same as if you or I are woken from a sleep. We often feel more groggy , regardless of how much sleep we have had, and it may take us a little while to focus and “get our head together”, so to speak.

 

The crying during sleep usually occurs when he or she is transitioning from REM sleep to a deeper form of sleep. It usually last no longer than about 5 minutes. In most occurrences it takes less than 2 minutes.  If you just wait a minute or two you may be surprised that your baby stops and continues to sleep more deeply all on their own.

 

This can be difficult for parents to understand because the cry during sleep can be a big loud  cry and seem like there is something wrong.  Of course if your baby is distressed and needs you to help then absolutely you need to respond.  Sometimes it takes parents a couple of times to stop and realise that maybe their baby is ok and have the confidence to wait a minute or two before going to help.

 

Other times when your baby will cry during sleep is if there is some form of discomfort from teeth, wind or other illness or injury. Of course give comfort when needed.

 

PS.  We always  encourage you  to respond to your baby crying if you know that your baby is distressed.