TEACHING PATIENCE (1 of 3)

TEACHING PATIENCE (1 of 3)

How to cope when nothing seems to be working!

Something I get asked often by new parents is how to cope with  a new baby when everyone is exhausted and crying. This is a normal situation for most new parents at some stage. 

 The good news is it doesn’t last long and soon you will have things down pat.

Take comfort in the knowledge that it is almost a rite of passage as a new parent.  You are not the only one to have felt like this. 

 It’s a fact- most new parents feel overwhelmed and lost when going home for the first time with their new baby.

And to make matters worse, they feel an overwhelming pressure to be perfect parents and get it “right”. This pressure will more than likely come up for you a number of times at different times as your baby grows. Remember it is all normal and working out what works for you is the key. Here is our first tips to help you stay calm and cope with those really difficult times. The next ones will follow over the next few weeks.

Here is the first tip to help you when things just don’t seem to be going your way.

1. Remember your self care- have time out just for you.

This is my number one rule – not even a tip, for new parents particularly but important no matter who you are.

Remember that you are a person too. Before you became a parent you had interests and hobbies. You did things just for yourself. It is healthy for everyone if you continue to do something for just yourself regularly. A baby is a 24 hour a day job. Imagine if you had to perform in your job 24 hours a day , 7 days a week, year in , year out. You would be exhausted and probably not very effective at your job. 

You will be a better parent if you take time out for yourself regularly. It may not be the same activities or the same amount of time that you spend on your activities  as before you became a parent.  

It is still important however that you do it. Even if it is only 5 mins a day, half an hour a week or once a month. It may be going for a walk around the block, going window shopping, having a coffee with a friend, reading a book from the library for 15 mins or just having a relaxing bath.

You will be a better more effective parent if you have time out from your baby and get some me time. You will probably enjoy your baby even more too and be able to think more clearly about what your baby needs from you and respond more calmly and appropriately. 

For more tips visit our website here insyncwithinfants.com.

Calming a crying baby

[caption id="attachment_2349" align="alignleft" width="150"] after calming your crying baby[/caption]

One of the most challenging things for new parents is their dealing with and calming their crying baby. I see new parents every week.  In fact I see new parents nearly everyday and this is usually their number one issue.

For most of us crying is usually seen as a negative thing.  Usually it is because it involves feelings of empathy in most of us and when we see someone else crying we know how it feels when you are so upset that it brings you to tears.
Of course there are happy tears too but for this discussion I am talking about sad tears.
For most parents when their baby cries it feels like there is something very wrong and that it is bad for your baby to cry. It doesn’t help when other people particularly strangers come up to you and give you advice on what you should do or why your baby is crying.  Of course they mean well but they are more than likely prompted by their own feelings of discomfort when they hear someone cry.  One parent said to me when someone did this to her in a shopping centre, “ Thank you for telling me what my baby needs, but a my baby’s mother I think I would know much better what she needs.”
What I am getting to is that baby’s cry. And yes they are telling you something but please don’t take it as a negative. When babies are little their crying is like talking only they don’t know how to put it into words yet. They are saying there is something going on with me, please help.  Sometimes it is just over tired and this can seem really hard to get your head around.
If you have gone through the list of possible things it might be, such as hungry, belly ache, happy, hot, cold, wind, it is probable that your baby just needs a sleep or rest. Sometimes it can take up to 20 minutes for your baby to calm, then to relax and then to get to sleep.
If you find it is just going on or if you are feeling concerned that something is not right ,ask someone.  Sometimes some reassurance is all you need or just a few different ideas on thing to try in calming a crying baby..