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Is using a dummy for my baby really all that bad?

Using a dummy for your baby often brings up conflicting ideas and feelings. Most new parents have the firm idea that they are absolutely not going to use a dummy for their baby. 

Often the reality of life with a new baby is very different to their imagined life with a new baby and these are the very ones who quickly resort to using a dummy and feel guilty about it. Somehow they often feel like a failure or a bad parent for using a dummy.

 I think the emotional pull that you feel and the deep, deep tiredness are the two things that prospective parents grossly under estimate.  These are the two things that also mean that dealing with your crying baby is incredibly difficult.   When you take away the emotional element and the exhaustion it is much easier to be patient and work through why your baby is crying and calmly helping to soothe him or her.

 Baby dummies or pacifiers, can be a Godsend for those early days with a little baby.  Everything is new, you are sleep deprived and often feel overwhelmed with all the needs of a newborn.  Using a dummy can be such a helpful little tool for many when you are trying to get your head around life with a new baby.

  Dummies can absolutely be very helpful for your baby when that need to suck is particularly strong. For families where breastfeeding is not an option for whatever reason, the dummy can be doubly helpful. You see, very young babies  have a strong need to suck. Sucking is soothing for them . Breastfed babies often take longer to feed in the first few months.  Whereas bottles are downed in minutes  and so that need to suck often doesn’t get fulfilled as well for bottle feeding babies.   Dummies used appropriately , responsibly and not just to stop your baby crying, can be helpful. When they are misused  I do not advocate them at all.

 Of course there are also babies who just have a really strong need to suck – more than most. For all these babies a dummy can be the thing that saves everyone’s sanity- including your baby.

 Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating you use a dummy for all babies.  However, if it means  that life is more manageable in those first few weeks and months while you get used to adjusting to life with a new baby then I can see the benefit of it.  Having said that I also think it is your responsibility to wean off the dummy once it is practical to do so in your situation. As a minimum when  your baby can competently find his or her hands to help soothe is a valid consideration.

Once again, respecting and supporting parents considered choices and informed decisions is always encouraged first and foremost in any debate surrounding parenting choices. When working out whether, for you, is using a dummy for your baby really all that bad?, it is your decision and you can change your mind.