Why stop thumb sucking?

 

There are many parents concerned about their child still sucking their thumb when most people have the opinion that they shouldn’t.  This can be frustrating, confusing, upsetting and even undermining to a parent.   My hat off to the parent with great internal fortitude to ignore others’ comments and not feel compelled or pressured to address something that until now has not been an issue for themself or their child., and instead to recognise when the time is right for them.

 

Remember a parent is doing their best with what they have and what they know in the circumstances they find themselves at this point of time.

 

The timing of when this is a concern varies . For some it is when their baby starts to suck his or her thumb or finger. For others it is 12 months and others still not until about 5 or 6 years of age.

Generally it seems to be sometime before adult teeth erupt.  Tis would put it about 6 or 7 years of age.  Many would recommend that from age 5 years if thumb or finger sucking is an obvious issue, do not let it go past this age before you start to address the problem.

As a child health nurse we would become aware of it and monitor it from 12 months on and as the child matures, utilise non invasive habits to discourage it.

 

Why is it of such concern?  Most concerns tend to be about teeth and skeletal development  of the mouth. The risk is that pressure from the thumb can eventually change the shape of the growing jaw and cause things such as overbite, or buck teeth or  uneven or mispositioned teeth.

 

It may also interfere with speech.  The tongue is a muscle so if it is worked for lengthy periods in the wrong way it may become thicker in some areas and cause speech problems.  in some instances  it may cause a delay in speech development and others inducing a lisp or mis pronounciation of certain sounds.

 

Ideally we would like thumb sucking to stop somewhere between 2 and 4 years.  As long as it is stopped before adult teeth come through. If left unchecked  it can go to adulthood.

New Mama Self Care

 

Working out whether you are being selfish or merely anew mama self caring can be confusing and  something that causes many some angst.  This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others, and parents are doing that 24 hours a day to more than one other.

 

The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc.   This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best,  you have to put yourself first at times. That is something I have learned in more recent years and have found it to be so very true.  I have become happier from it too.  I certainly notice the difference in me, my reactions particularly, when I have had time for me to do my thing just for me.  Even for a snippet of time compared to what  I used to.

 

There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy.  Life is meant to be a balance.  In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others.  Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?

 

Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children.  While to an extent this may be necessary  in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.



It is also ok to want to have time out from your baby. It is important to have time out from your baby. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or that you don’t love your baby. Quite the opposite.  It means that you love your baby so much that you want to give him or her the best of you.  The best way to do that is to take care of you.  Most women feel selfish if they think this way.  It is not selfish just self care.  If you take care of you, you will take care of your baby better purely because you are not so drained.  You need to fill your bucket as much as the next person and especially now that you are giving so much of yourself to your baby. Remember you are a person in your own right and not only a mother now.  Remember you and honour you.

 

Try to have a break from your baby everyday.  Find one thing to be thankful for everyday.

 

Take time out from your baby as soon as you can.  Go for a short walk to the end of the street, around the block.   Have a long shower.  Have a coffee with your feet up. Do it. Do it every day. Leave your baby with your partner- he or she will manage.  5 minutes may be all you can manage to start with. Build on that each week. Talk with your partner about what’s important as far as settling strategies etc and then trust them- you know you can. You being upset doesn’t help anyone.

 

We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care.  Besides, no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.

 

So are you giving your best?  If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.

Healthy families and "toxic oil" and "poison sugar"

On a different note, I have been exploring the topics of “toxic oil” and “sugar is poison” ideas that have been floating around. I had wondered about them and finally got to read about it and look a little more closely at it.  After much reading, I think I have an idea of where they are coming from. At first I thought they were talking about all oil /fats and sugar full stop, however I now understand that they are talking about the processed ones that are not so good for us and may well have a large stake in our problems with obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancers.  This makes more sense to me.

Why am I so interested?  I have always been interested in healthy living and eating. I love food and those who know me, know I love sweet stuff. I have a sweet tooth to rival any in the land.  I, and my siblings have never been physically sick from eating too much sweet or junk, ever. We were brought up eating healthy.  Junk food was limited  but we regularly had sweet treats- all home made. The thought of going without sweet food is very hard for me to accept.

I am often baffled by announcements in general media about certain new super foods that we absolutely must consume to live a healthy life and going into an organic shop is overwhelming for me. I feel  baffled by all the things in there that I have never heard of and supposedly should eat.  Don’t get me wrong, I am all for no pesticides and ethical and sustainable farming practices especially coming from a farming background. I am also into simplicity.

 This is a snippet of what I have learned.

Simple sugar is used by every cell in our body. This is glucose. Also known as dextrose.  Simple sugars are ok for us. Any processed sugars are not. Sucrose is not so good for us and any modified sugars are not good for us. Sugars are processed by the pancreas. The pancreas produces insulin.  There are many people with insulin resistance and more and more commonly I am seeing it in newborn babies in special care nursery with  insulin resistance or low blood sugars in the first few days of life and needing to be on a drip to help stabilise it.  This scares me- the fact that newborns are having trouble with blood sugar.  Something is amiss.

This all leads me towards the questions I have about why so many babies have reflux type symptoms as small babies.  Reflux in infants is often what we see and treat when it is food reaction but difficult at that age to identify. There is too much of it around and I still am confused  about why. So this also got me thinking about babies and unsettled tummies and food reactions.

So I continue on my search for understanding about unsettled infants. It is by no means a simple answer but there has to be one out there.

 Unprocessed, varied diets with plenty of protein, unprocessed fats and sugars, and plant foods is the best way to get on the right track.

[caption id="attachment_2387" align="alignleft" width="150"] baby sleeping with dummy[/caption]

Is using a dummy for my baby really all that bad?

Using a dummy for your baby often brings up conflicting ideas and feelings. Most new parents have the firm idea that they are absolutely not going to use a dummy for their baby. 

Often the reality of life with a new baby is very different to their imagined life with a new baby and these are the very ones who quickly resort to using a dummy and feel guilty about it. Somehow they often feel like a failure or a bad parent for using a dummy.

 I think the emotional pull that you feel and the deep, deep tiredness are the two things that prospective parents grossly under estimate.  These are the two things that also mean that dealing with your crying baby is incredibly difficult.   When you take away the emotional element and the exhaustion it is much easier to be patient and work through why your baby is crying and calmly helping to soothe him or her.

 Baby dummies or pacifiers, can be a Godsend for those early days with a little baby.  Everything is new, you are sleep deprived and often feel overwhelmed with all the needs of a newborn.  Using a dummy can be such a helpful little tool for many when you are trying to get your head around life with a new baby.

  Dummies can absolutely be very helpful for your baby when that need to suck is particularly strong. For families where breastfeeding is not an option for whatever reason, the dummy can be doubly helpful. You see, very young babies  have a strong need to suck. Sucking is soothing for them . Breastfed babies often take longer to feed in the first few months.  Whereas bottles are downed in minutes  and so that need to suck often doesn’t get fulfilled as well for bottle feeding babies.   Dummies used appropriately , responsibly and not just to stop your baby crying, can be helpful. When they are misused  I do not advocate them at all.

 Of course there are also babies who just have a really strong need to suck – more than most. For all these babies a dummy can be the thing that saves everyone’s sanity- including your baby.

 Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating you use a dummy for all babies.  However, if it means  that life is more manageable in those first few weeks and months while you get used to adjusting to life with a new baby then I can see the benefit of it.  Having said that I also think it is your responsibility to wean off the dummy once it is practical to do so in your situation. As a minimum when  your baby can competently find his or her hands to help soothe is a valid consideration.

Once again, respecting and supporting parents considered choices and informed decisions is always encouraged first and foremost in any debate surrounding parenting choices. When working out whether, for you, is using a dummy for your baby really all that bad?, it is your decision and you can change your mind.

Fun times and your little one

Fun times and your little one

Holidays and festive times of the year can pose a challenge  to routine when you have a little one. Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy fun times with everyone too.  Most people want to enjoy these times but also give their baby what they need so they can enjoy too and still get the rest and other needs fulfilled.  I have put a few tips together to help you join in and not compromise your baby’s health and happiness with it.

 Newborn

Having a newborn means that you will be feeding regularly and your baby will sleeping between most feeds hopefully.  One way to help achieve this is to wear your baby for events where having your baby with you is welcomed. This often means your baby will sleep well and stops your baby from becoming the parcel in the pass the parcel game that often happens with new babies making him or her unsettled and not getting sleep at all. It also means feeding can be quite discreet if breastfeeding.  Your pram can also become  the bassinet/cot at functions or the car capsule if it lifts out of the car easily.

 Babies under about 6 weeks can seem to sleep in any amount of noise and activity . Older than this and reducing any visual stimulation is important in encouraging sleep. Some noise is comforting so it doesn’t have to be completely quiet.

 If bottle feeding it may be a babysitter- family or friends- is appropriate for you. Whatever your choice, as long as your baby is safe and not over whelmed with all that is going on you can both get what you need.

 Older babies

Your baby still needs regular sleep and feeds regardless of where you are and what is happening. Some babies become overwhelmed with lots of activity occurring around them, others will be quite ok with it. Remember individual differences and cater for these. IF your baby manages events well, just ensure his or her sleep times are kept in mind so that he or she gets the appropriate time and opportunity for sleep.  The pram or car seat can become the cot/ bassinet when you are out. If you are at a friends place, perhaps one of their rooms can be the place for your baby to sleep. Remember if your baby knows what to do for sleep, the idea is that he or she is more portable so you are not stuck at home all the time.

 If your baby is sensitive to noise and activity and doesn’t settle well perhaps manage the number of times this happens. It may be that your baby can manage only one of these events a week rather than a few a week.

 Babies often manage well at the event and the next day the overtiredness catches up with them. Ensure you allow a catch up day or two if this is you.

 I hope this helps a little to this festive season where we are often invited to many events.  As long as you are considerate with allowing  appropriate sleep opportunities for your little one, there is no reason you both can’t enjoy it.

On that note I’d like to wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a fulfilling 2014.

Regards

Leisa