New Mama Self Care

 

Working out whether you are being selfish or merely anew mama self caring can be confusing and  something that causes many some angst.  This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others, and parents are doing that 24 hours a day to more than one other.

 

The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc.   This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best,  you have to put yourself first at times. That is something I have learned in more recent years and have found it to be so very true.  I have become happier from it too.  I certainly notice the difference in me, my reactions particularly, when I have had time for me to do my thing just for me.  Even for a snippet of time compared to what  I used to.

 

There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy.  Life is meant to be a balance.  In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others.  Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?

 

Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children.  While to an extent this may be necessary  in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.



It is also ok to want to have time out from your baby. It is important to have time out from your baby. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or that you don’t love your baby. Quite the opposite.  It means that you love your baby so much that you want to give him or her the best of you.  The best way to do that is to take care of you.  Most women feel selfish if they think this way.  It is not selfish just self care.  If you take care of you, you will take care of your baby better purely because you are not so drained.  You need to fill your bucket as much as the next person and especially now that you are giving so much of yourself to your baby. Remember you are a person in your own right and not only a mother now.  Remember you and honour you.

 

Try to have a break from your baby everyday.  Find one thing to be thankful for everyday.

 

Take time out from your baby as soon as you can.  Go for a short walk to the end of the street, around the block.   Have a long shower.  Have a coffee with your feet up. Do it. Do it every day. Leave your baby with your partner- he or she will manage.  5 minutes may be all you can manage to start with. Build on that each week. Talk with your partner about what’s important as far as settling strategies etc and then trust them- you know you can. You being upset doesn’t help anyone.

 

We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care.  Besides, no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.

 

So are you giving your best?  If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.

Tongue tie and newborn feeding care

Tongue tie

 

Tongue tie is a relatively common occurrence in babies and adults.  It is often a family thing with either mum or dad having a tongue tie also.

 

After a long time where health practitioners didn’t really give much thought or credence to tongue tie and some of the challenges it can provide, we are thankfully knowing more about it and also taking action to help those for whom it causes discomfort.

 

Very broadly there are 2 types of tongue tie-

Anterior tie-  can see tight frenulum ( bit of skin in the centre underneath the tongue ) under tongue – often has a heart shaped tip.

Posterior tie- not so easy to identify – back of tongue is bunched or elevated.  When baby cries  tongue tip is up. Usually baby can’t extend tongue over bottom lip.

What to do with a tongue tie??

Anterior tie- can get it snipped by someone skilled in this . It is a simple procedure that takes a few seconds. In some cases the frenulum is embedded in the tongue making it difficult to snip.  This makes it a much more complicated intervention than a simple snip.
Posterior tie- there is nothing to snip.

 
We don’t always automatically snip a tongue tie.  We generally only snip a tongue tie in the case of breastfeeding when it causes poor latch for the baby and pain and damage to the nipple for the mother.  When a baby is bottle fed, there is not usually a problem with feeding and certainly no discomfort, so usually it does not become an issue.  Sometimes even with breastfeeding, the tie may look significant however if there is no discomfort and the baby is satisfied, there is no indication for snipping the tie.

 
Typically what happens is that the mother will breastfeed reasonably comfortably for the first 3-7 days. After this time as the baby’s feeding requirements increase and the baby also gets more co-ordinated and strong with their feeding, we see mothers in extreme discomfort -pain, with very damaged nipples.  It is at this point that many women stop breastfeeding – understandably.  Some women  at this point find help from a lactation consultant to work out what to do and why this is happening.

[caption id="attachment_2270" align="alignleft" width="150"] tongue _tie_in Newborn_baby[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_2271" align="alignleft" width="150"] frenulum_under_tongue_in_newborn[/caption]

Brisbane mums self care

[caption id="attachment_2262" align="alignleft" width="150"] Look good feel good,Brisbane mums unite[/caption]

 

On my walk I came across this group of mums doing hill sprints.  their kids were parked at the bottom of the hill, also a cul de sac in prams, bikes and skateboards.  the mums were doing their hill sprints.  further along is a park with gym equipment in it. Later I saw them on the gym equipment.  What a great thing to do.   It's more motivating, enjoyable and fun with a group of friends.  Really cool!!  Great to see people taking the initiative and being creative in health and activity. Great role modeling for their kids too.

Join us on our webinar tonight and learn how mums like these managed to sparkle and shine through their first year with little ones.

https://sparkle1styear.eventbrite.com.au/

If something pops up as it does with little ones, you will still find it out . All who register will receive the recording so you can listen as many times as you like whenever you like. Register now.   https://sparkle1styear.eventbrite.com.au/

[caption id="attachment_2263" align="alignleft" width="150"] Hill sprints to look good feel good[/caption]

Sparkle and shine

https://sparkle1styear.eventbrite.com.au/

 

Register at the link above to join us in our next webinar.

Find out what others do to not only survive their first months  but sparkle and shine with glittering brilliance through the first year.

[caption id="attachment_2252" align="alignleft" width="150"] Sparkle&shine[/caption]

If you can't make the live recording, you will still receive a recording so that you get everything

that we talked about.  I look forward to seeing you Next Wednesday 18th September, 8pm from

the comfort of your lounge room. Leisa

The most important thing to remain calm when your baby is crying

[caption id="attachment_2193" align="alignleft" width="150"] How to stay calm[/caption]

For most parents one of the most stressful times is when your baby is crying for what seems like hours and doesn’t seem to be stopping. This is particularly so when your baby is usually placid and happy, settling easily and this behaviour comes out of the blue.

  A myriad of thoughts often go through your mind including “is there something seriously wrong with my baby?”.  This is particularly so when your baby has been so calm and relaxed and this is out of character.  This is for many young babies, not just for new parents.  Recently my neighbour who has baby number 5, yes 5, (and I don’t know how they do it and they are the quietest neighbours I have- go figure!!)  ( My other neighbour  has 2 and I hear them more – just normal kid noise- I am very fortunate to have very good neighbours).

 I am waffling- any how- this neighbour with  her 5th baby, called me over just to bounce off what may be happening to make her baby cry uncontrollably for  the last few hours.  As you can imagine the mum was agitated and upset and just needed an objective view to help her think through the situation. Her baby is normally quiet and would settle pretty easily but this one evening she just wouldn’t/ probably couldn’t settle for whatever reason.  We had discussed that she  could be a little unwell- possibly teething. She had a mild temperature and didn’t feed as well that day and had rosy cheeks that she didn’t usually have and probably coupled with not having had a enough sleep also, was by now overtired. She settled to sleep while I was there which made her mum feel so much better.  Her mum visibly relaxed .  I didn’t do anything, just gave her a chance to talk it through.  Often this happens and it often happens that as the mum relaxes, the baby also relaxes a little more. The next day she was back to normal again.

Another friend of mine said to me that she had been talking with a group of mums and they were reminiscing about when their children were babies.  She said that she could see now that when she gave herself permission to relax and go with the flow, her previously unsettled baby became much more relaxed.  All in the group could now see, looking back on that time, that it was the same for them and the age at which they were able to do this varied.  For some their baby was 4 months, some 8 mths and for my friend it was when her baby was 14 months of age.

The most important thing you can do to remain calm when everything seems to be going wrong is to

Take care of yourself with regular time outs and doing something just for you. 

 This should be number one thing you do- it’s a preventive action.  I understand that with a baby it is difficult.  I do encourage you to really consider it as a key tool to help you through the broken days and nights with little ones.

When you do this well, it fills your bucket of give and those times when your baby needs lots of your give, you will have those extra reserves to help you through these really tough times.  Not caring for yourself will mean that your reserves are lower and it will take less for you to feel the stresses of having a baby.  It is important for every stage of our lives but particularly when we are caring for others daily. It will help you remain calm when your baby is crying.

How Breastfeeding Benefits Mothers

With numerous guidelines being written on the importance and benefits of breastfeeding, more and more mothers are becoming aware of how beneficial it is to nurse their babies.  However, it seems that the benefits of breastfeeding to a mother isn't as well publicised, for many mothers still view breastfeeding as a sacrificial practice almost akin to martyrdom.

Far from it, mothers stand to gain just as much from breastfeeding their babies.  Breastfeeding is beneficial to mothers as it reduces their risk factors for developing certain medical conditions and diseases later in life.  It is beneficial for helping mothers regain their pre-pregnant figure more quickly - something that is bound to attract the attention of many post-partum mothers.  Breastfeeding also has psychological and financial benefits.

Here are the 17 benefits that breastfeeding offers to nursing mothers:

The baby's suckling action triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin which produces the letdown reflex (a process whereby the breast releases its stored milk to the baby). Oxytocin also causes contraction of the uterus which is important during postpartum healing as it reduces the risk of bleeding and promotes the return of the uterus to its original shape and size.

Breastfeeding delays the return of menstruation. Mothers who formula feed their babies usually observe a return of their periods within 6-8 weeks postpartum. A breastfeeding mother can expect to delay the return of her period for months up to a year and beyond. This helps a mother maintain her stores of iron and helps to reduce her risk of developing iron deficient anaemia.

Breastfeeding reduces a mother's fertility by preventing ovulation. This can help delay further pregnancies and allow her body to recover before being taxed again with another pregnancy. It is important to note, however, that the period of reduced fertility depends on the mother, her baby and their nursing patterns.

There is evidence that breastfeeding may provide a mother protection against breast, uterine and ovarian cancers.

A common misconception is that breastfeeding increases a mother's risk of osteoporosis, however, studies have found the converse to be true. While a mother's stores of calcium are reduced during breastfeeding, it was found that bone density return to normal levels and even increased after weaning, thus providing extra protection against osteoporosis.

Breastfeeding has been shown to reduce a mother's risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis.

Some studies also show that breastfeeding helps to reduce a mother's risk of developing heart disease, heart attacks and stroke.

Breastfeeding also reduces the risk of developing diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Breastfeeding releases the prolactin - a hormone responsible for milk production. Prolactin also has a calming and sedating effect on a nursing mother. This relaxes the mother, helps her get back to sleep quickly after a night-time feed and may be helpful in combating the baby blues and potential postnatal depression. Studies show that mothers who breastfeed are less likely to suffer from postpartum anxiety and depression.

It has been shown that breastfeeding strengthens the bond between a mother and her baby. This can help first time mothers adapt to the role of motherhood more easily. Studies have also shown that mothers with a history of abandonment are less likely to leave their babies if they breastfeed them.

Breastfed babies are less likely to fall ill which offers mothers greater peace of mind. Something must be said about the benefit of not having to deal with the added stress of living with a child with recurrent illness.

Breastfeeding can consume an extra 200-500 calories a day (the equivalent of swimming 30 laps or riding a bicycle up a hill for an hour). This helps a mother return to her pre-pregnant weight more quickly and easily.

During pregnancy, fat is stored around the waist and hip areas to protect the baby and womb. This fat is utilised in the production of breast milk after birth, which helps a mother return to her pre-pregnant size more quickly than a mother who formula feeds her baby.

It has been estimated that breastfeeding can save parents an average of US$400-800 a year since there is no need to purchase expensive infant formulas.

Breastfeeding directly also means there is no need for baby bottles, sterilizers and other fancy equipment required with bottle feeding.

Breastfeeding is a lot more convenient, especially for night feeds as Mum does not have to get up to prepare formula.

A nursing mother can also rest while she is nursing the baby (utilising the lying down position).  She doesn't have to stay awake to hold the bottle which allows her to get more rest.

The benefits of breastfeeding for mothers are many and should not be overlooked.  They are also equally valid factors that mothers should take into consideration when deciding whether or not to breastfeed their babies.  Even if some mothers might not want to breastfeed their babies for the benefits that it offers to the baby, I'm sure knowing a little more about "what's in it for me" might change their perspectives.

By: Shen-Li Lee  -   About the Author :
  Shen-Li is a stay-at-home-mum dedicated to the pursuit of excellence in parenting. She has a formal educational background and former work experience in healthcare. If you enjoyed this article, visit her blog Babylicious and follow her as she learns how to raise a happy, confident and successful person.