TEACHING PATIENCE (2 of 3)

TEACHING PATIENCE (2 of 3)

2. Accept all offers of help.

Often times new parents feel like they “should” be able to manage everything that is associated with  coming home with a newborn baby.  They often see other parents who seemingly handle it all with ease,  grace and confidence.

An important fact is that all new parents feel like you.

Another important fact is that it takes a village to raise a child.  This is because caring for a baby particularly is a 24 hour a day job as we mentioned above

.

For this reason we ideally encourage you to have a relative or friend stay with you to help for at least the first 6 weeks.  Ideally the first 3 months of help would be even better.  Babies start to be less intensive from around the 12 weeks mark and new parents often find their parenting is becoming really enjoyable and easier around this time.

Accept all offers of help no matter how seemingly minor, even if it is from people you don’t know well, particularly, if they have been in your shoes.  It may be a neighbour, you don’t know well, who comes around with a lasagne for you out of the blue. Someone may offer to vacuum.

Accept any offers for them if not yourself. People feel good when they can help someone else. 

Look at the floods in recent years that were devastating in Brisbane & Bundaberg and the “mud army” that appeared.  People like to help.

The important point is that you aren’t expected to be able to do it all on your own in the beginning.

Go gently on yourself.  It will all fall into place in time.  Think of it as a brand new job with no manual, no boss and  no targets. 

 Ask for help and accept help. It may be hard to do in the beginning but it will get easier.

We all need help at some time with different things.

If you want to sound things past someone we are here to help insyncwithinfants.com

TEACHING PATIENCE (1 of 3)

TEACHING PATIENCE (1 of 3)

How to cope when nothing seems to be working!

Something I get asked often by new parents is how to cope with  a new baby when everyone is exhausted and crying. This is a normal situation for most new parents at some stage. 

 The good news is it doesn’t last long and soon you will have things down pat.

Take comfort in the knowledge that it is almost a rite of passage as a new parent.  You are not the only one to have felt like this. 

 It’s a fact- most new parents feel overwhelmed and lost when going home for the first time with their new baby.

And to make matters worse, they feel an overwhelming pressure to be perfect parents and get it “right”. This pressure will more than likely come up for you a number of times at different times as your baby grows. Remember it is all normal and working out what works for you is the key. Here is our first tips to help you stay calm and cope with those really difficult times. The next ones will follow over the next few weeks.

Here is the first tip to help you when things just don’t seem to be going your way.

1. Remember your self care- have time out just for you.

This is my number one rule – not even a tip, for new parents particularly but important no matter who you are.

Remember that you are a person too. Before you became a parent you had interests and hobbies. You did things just for yourself. It is healthy for everyone if you continue to do something for just yourself regularly. A baby is a 24 hour a day job. Imagine if you had to perform in your job 24 hours a day , 7 days a week, year in , year out. You would be exhausted and probably not very effective at your job. 

You will be a better parent if you take time out for yourself regularly. It may not be the same activities or the same amount of time that you spend on your activities  as before you became a parent.  

It is still important however that you do it. Even if it is only 5 mins a day, half an hour a week or once a month. It may be going for a walk around the block, going window shopping, having a coffee with a friend, reading a book from the library for 15 mins or just having a relaxing bath.

You will be a better more effective parent if you have time out from your baby and get some me time. You will probably enjoy your baby even more too and be able to think more clearly about what your baby needs from you and respond more calmly and appropriately. 

For more tips visit our website here insyncwithinfants.com.

Looking after you is looking after your baby

Self Settling- What it is, what it isn't and more.

Self Settling- What it is, what it isn't and more.

Are you feeling guilty about teaching your little one to self settle? 

Perhaps you are feeling confused and confounded by all the talk about  self settling, how to do it and what not to do , how to not harm your little one while doing it. 

Are you feeling conflicted over why don't you want to cuddle your baby?

For or against self settling?

Self settling has long been a topic that has people swear by it and those who really are not a fan of it.  There are arguments for and against everything.  For example,  some say give kiwifruit for first foods.  Others say don't give kiwifruit as first foods.  Both statements are right.  Kiwifruit will agree with some and not others.  So obviously those it doesn't agree with, shouldn't have it.  Those that it does agree with can have it.

Self Settling is...

Self settling is when your baby goes to sleep most times on their own without needing you to do anything for them and without needing any other props to go to sleep such as a dummy.  Most babies can self settle at times and there certainly are certain circumstances that makes self settling more likely.  Things such as catching early tired signs and giving an environment that is more conducive to sleep. Your baby’s personality  is another factor in self settling. Some babies need to have the security of a parent for longer than others.

Find the right way for you

As with most things, it is individual. I think if it is something that seems to resonate with you then perhaps it will suit.  It is worth investigating.  Even for peace of mind.

Read widely, ask people who know, talk with your immediate circle of peers and those you trust in advice about caring for your little one.

As with everything particularly now with information sharing so frequent and world wide, trying to find your way through can be really difficult.

If you decide it is not for you that is fine. Remember there is not one right way.  Just the right way for you.

If not- continue doing what you are doing for as long as it suits.

Decide for yourself whether self settling is something that suits your family.  Remember we all have different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, values and histories. Please be mindful that we are all doing our very best with what we have and know.

How much sleep is enough?

How much sleep is enough?

Many parents ask how much is enough sleep for their little ones.  This is like asking how long is a piece of string?  It is an individual thing and is best worked out by watching your baby.

Watch your baby

How much sleep your baby needs changes as they mature and is different from person (baby) to person.  A newborn generally requires much more sleep than a six month old and a twelve month old generally more than a 2 year old.  Some babies never seem to “need “ a lot of sleep.  Other babies seem to need quite a lot of sleep.  The important point is to go by your baby and what he or she needs.

Sleep Cycles

Remembering our sleep cycles, if your baby has one cycle of sleep and wakes up and is happy, then that may be enough sleep for that cycle.  If your baby wakes up after one cycle and is crying, cranky and unhappy, then we would think your baby probably needs more sleep. 

 Unless you think your baby needs a feed, nappy change, is hot or cold or has wind, if your baby wakes up crying and it has only been a short cycle, we would think that more than likely your baby needs more sleep.

If your baby is overtired , you will probably have to help your baby off to sleep again.  Babies who know how to self settle may not need to be helped to sleep.  They may simply need to be given the environment and opportunity for sleep.  This may mean back in the cot, give a pat to help them off to sleep or rock the pram etc. or just let them know you are there and that it is sleep time.

There is not one answer

As with all aspects of baby care, there is not a black and white, one answer for everyone.  Babies are individual and there are many solutions to the one problem.  The trick is to find the solution for you.

If you are struggling with working this out, call us, book a time to talk and we may be able to help you work out what will work the best for you. insyncwithinfants.com

Tummy time myths busted

Tummy time myths busted

Is tummy time really all that important? 

Let’s explore this further and find out how it fits with your baby’s development and baby stages.

Now that we sleep babies on their back and they are playing lying on their back more, we sometimes see babies with a part of their head that is flattened. It is usually behind one of their ears or it is the back of their head. This is the reason we encourage you to give your baby tummy time from an early age and so he or she has more chance to reach their month milestones.

Why is tummy time important for baby development?

Part of the reason is that it encourages good neck strength.  Tummy time also encourages  general muscle strength and tone, co-ordination,  depth perception, hand eye co-ordination, proprioception and is a needed pre cursor for crawling. Babies will be happy to stay on their tummy longer if they are strong enough to hold and move their head.  Short frequent amounts of time are better than occasional long periods of time. Start with 5-10 seconds and lengthen it as they get stronger. A good time is when you change their nappy, flip them over.  Don’t make them stay longer if they are not happy.   If they don’t like it and you force it, this will teach them that it is not a nice place to be and just keep fighting it. Tummy time helps prevent their heads flattening- called plagiocephaly.

When to do tummy time for optimal infant growth?

You can start to give your baby tummy time as soon as they are born.  However, this is not something to concern yourself with initially.  When your baby is 6 weeks old you definitely need to start giving them tummy time if you haven’t started yet mostly if your baby spends a lot of time on a flat surface on their back. Definitely by 3 months of age tummy time is important.

Watch for head flattening by looking at their head from above.  You can see it is even and round on both sides.  If your baby’s head starts to flatten you can usually see this  either on left or right side of their head behind their ears.  Again look from above.  Sometimes the back of their head is flat which pushes the sides of their head forward.  Sometimes it can cause their forehead to be uneven.

At what baby stages do you need to give your baby tummy time?

Baby’s skull bones are still soft until about 6 months of age.  If you catch the flattening early, you can reverse it.  It will take effort and for you to be consistent in working on getting their position right to reverse it.

If it is left too long, some baby’s are given a helmet to help.  Sometimes the bones in their head are fused and it is too late to reverse it.  

Of course another way to avoid your baby developing a flattened head is to use a pouch or sling often in their early months with you.  It doesn’t have to be all the time, but if it works for you, it is a great tool to use have your baby with you but have your hands free to do other things as well and your baby will usually love just being with you.

Tummy time is important for   newborn baby stages of development most importantly when your baby is spending a lot of time on the floor or against a flat surface and can’t move off his or her back on their own.  If you are holding your baby a lot while his or her skull bones are soft, tummy time is less important.  Tummy time and floor play are still the most important aspects for your baby’s  development ultimately.

For more info visit our website http://www.insyncwithinfants.com/newborn.html

The single biggest most believed myth about newborn baby sleeping habits.

The single biggest most believed myth about newborn baby sleeping habits.

Until you have your own baby or have a great exposure to babies, most people tend

to think that for your newborn baby sleep  just happens when your little one is tired.  

This has to be one of the biggest myths around babies and sleep.

Newborn Baby sleeping

Thankfully we are learning and more people are realising that this isn’t necessarily the case.  I have seen 1 or 2 babies who have just gone to sleep where they are no matter what was happening around them.  I don’t mean newborns who tend to sleep easily in the first few weeks or so.  I am alluding to babies once they have gotten a little older at least 1-2 months or more where sleep is commonly a little more challenging at times. And a lot more challenging at other times.

So what is the single biggest most believed myth about babies and sleep?

That your baby will just go to sleep when they are tired.

Babies until about 3-4 months of age particularly, may require some help from you to go to sleep.  This is normal and common and will help build that trusting relationship they need for survival.  They may be able to go to sleep on their own at times and  if they do that is okay.  By helping your little one to sleep in this early time be assured it will not cause unhelpful habits for when your baby is older.

Why does  your baby fight sleep?

Remember babies have their senses turned on high to learn about their environment and also for survival. Babies will often show us the cues to let us know they are tired but to those uninitiated the signs can be fleeting and unclear. This is what makes it harder for babies to go sleep easily, added to their general immaturity of all their systems particularly their digestive system.

Your baby doesn’t fight sleep- he or she just needs some help at times.

For your newborn baby sleep to happen easily, keep these ideas in mind to make it easier for everyone.

For more information about developing sleep habits and routines that are helpful for your baby, visit our website for online resources to get started  at insyncwithinfants.com.