3 More Ways to Remain Calm When your Baby is Crying

3 More Ways to Remain Calm  When your Baby is Crying

Continuing on from last week's article about ways to remain calm when you baby is crying

4. Put your baby in the pram and go for a walk. Again, movement is often soothing and being out of your arms can be more relaxing for both of you.

5. Have a long, warm relaxing bath or shower together.  There is nothing more soothing than water. Often this calms everyone and breaks the cycle.

I have added this because it is important.

6.  Take of yourself with regular time outs and doing something just for you.   This should probably be number one- it’s a preventive action. When you do this well, it fills your bucket of give and those times when your baby needs lots of your give, you will have those extra reserves to help you through these really tough times.  Not caring for yourself will mean that your reserves are lower and it will take less for you to feel the stresses of having a baby.  It is important for every stage of our lives but particularly when we are caring for others daily.

Once your baby is calm again it is easier to be able to think back and try to work out what may have upset your baby.  Sometimes it won’t be obvious, sometimes it will.  If it is a regular occurrence it is worth seeing a health professional to rule out any medical cause. 
As time goes on your will be able to work through these times more quickly. Often when you go through your list and can’t find a reason , lack of sleep can be the answer.  

It is surprising how much sleep little ones need. And also a simple answer for unhappy babies in the absence of discomfort or hunger.

The most important thing to remain calm when your baby is crying

The most important thing to remain calm when your baby is crying

For most parents one of the most stressful times is when your baby is crying for what seems like hours and doesn’t seem to be stopping. This is particularly so when your baby is usually placid and happy, settling easily and this behaviour comes out of the blue.

 A myriad of thoughts often go through your mind including “is there something seriously wrong with my baby?”.  This is particularly so when your baby has been so calm and relaxed and this is out of character.  This is for many young babies, not just for new parents. 

Recently my neighbour who has baby number 5, yes 5, (and I don’t know how they do it and they are the quietest neighbours I have- go figure!!)  ( My other neighbour  has 2 and I hear them more – just normal kid noise- I am very fortunate to have very good neighbours).

I am waffling- any how- this neighbour with  her 5th baby, called me over just to bounce off what may be happening to make her baby cry uncontrollably for  the last few hours.  As you can imagine the mum was agitated and upset and just needed an objective view to help her think through the situation. Her baby is normally quiet and would settle pretty easily but this one evening she just wouldn’t/ probably couldn’t settle for whatever reason.  We had discussed that she  could be a little unwell- possibly teething. She had a mild temperature and didn’t feed as well that day and had rosy cheeks that she didn’t usually have and probably coupled with not having had a enough sleep also, was by now overtired. She settled to sleep while I was there which made her mum feel so much better.  Her mum visibly relaxed .  I didn’t do anything, just gave her a chance to talk it through.  Often this happens and it often happens that as the mum relaxes, the baby also relaxes a little more. The next day she was back to normal again.

Another friend of mine said to me that she had been talking with a group of mums and they were reminiscing about when their children were babies.  She said that she could see now that when she gave herself permission to relax and go with the flow, her previously unsettled baby became much more relaxed.  All in the group could now see, looking back on that time, that it was the same for them and the age at which they were able to do this varied.  For some their baby was 4 months, some 8 months and for my friend it was when her baby was 14 months of age.

The most important thing you can do to remain calm when everything seems to be going wrong is to

Take care of yourself with regular time outs and doing something just for you.

This should be number one thing you do- it’s a preventive action.  I understand that with a baby it is difficult.  I do encourage you to really consider it as a key tool to help you through the broken days and nights with little ones.

When you do this well, it fills your bucket of give and those times when your baby needs lots of your give, you will have those extra reserves to help you through these really tough times.  Not caring for yourself will mean that your reserves are lower and it will take less for you to feel the stresses of having a baby. 

 It is important for every stage of our lives but particularly when we are caring for others daily. It will help you remain calm when your baby is crying.

TEACHING PATIENCE (2 of 3)

TEACHING PATIENCE (2 of 3)

2. Accept all offers of help.

Often times new parents feel like they “should” be able to manage everything that is associated with  coming home with a newborn baby.  They often see other parents who seemingly handle it all with ease,  grace and confidence.

An important fact is that all new parents feel like you.

Another important fact is that it takes a village to raise a child.  This is because caring for a baby particularly is a 24 hour a day job as we mentioned above

.

For this reason we ideally encourage you to have a relative or friend stay with you to help for at least the first 6 weeks.  Ideally the first 3 months of help would be even better.  Babies start to be less intensive from around the 12 weeks mark and new parents often find their parenting is becoming really enjoyable and easier around this time.

Accept all offers of help no matter how seemingly minor, even if it is from people you don’t know well, particularly, if they have been in your shoes.  It may be a neighbour, you don’t know well, who comes around with a lasagne for you out of the blue. Someone may offer to vacuum.

Accept any offers for them if not yourself. People feel good when they can help someone else. 

Look at the floods in recent years that were devastating in Brisbane & Bundaberg and the “mud army” that appeared.  People like to help.

The important point is that you aren’t expected to be able to do it all on your own in the beginning.

Go gently on yourself.  It will all fall into place in time.  Think of it as a brand new job with no manual, no boss and  no targets. 

 Ask for help and accept help. It may be hard to do in the beginning but it will get easier.

We all need help at some time with different things.

If you want to sound things past someone we are here to help insyncwithinfants.com

The low down on long and short baby naps

The low down on long and short baby naps

Long and short sleeps - what’s the difference?

You may have heard about  your baby having a long sleep or having a short sleep.  What is the difference?  What makes a short sleep and what makes a long sleep and what is the significance?  Here is the low down on long and short baby naps.

Basics of baby sleep patterns

We all have sleep cycles.  Very broadly we go to sleep, have a very short deep sleep and come to a light sleep, then cycle between light and deep sleep through the night. Of course sleep is much more complex than this.  I have just simplified it here to the main points to make it easier to illustrate.

The first sleep cycle is usually the shortest.  You can see the end of a cycle when your little one stirs or wakes up after a certain amount of time that you can usually predict.  For example, people will say “ He only sleeps for 30 minutes, never longer”. This would lead me to think that this particular child’s sleep cycle is 30 minutes.

Newborns often have only short sleep cycles.  They are often only about 20 minutes long.  Newborns may or may not get past the first sleep cycle, that is they may or may not resettle and move into a second sleep cycle.  It is normal for newborns to wake frequently.  As your baby grows and matures, sleep will mature too.

How long is a short sleep?

When your baby only sleeps for one cycle we call that a short sleep or a short nap.  When  your baby sleeps longer and gets into the second cycle, that is a long sleep.  In the second cycle is when your baby gets deep restorative sleep.

A short sleep may be all that your baby needs for this particular sleep time.  Baby sleep patterns for little ones under about 12 months include a number of sleeps each day and some of them may be short sleeps.  The key is to watch your baby’s behaviour,  know the signs and be able to take action in a timely fashion so that your baby doesn’t become over tired.

Newborn baby naps

New parents wonder about baby sleep patterns, whether baby naps are long enough or their baby is ‘catnapping’. This is important to some and not others and is an individual thing. Basically, judge it as you go. Short sleeps may be quite ok for a time, then as your baby matures your baby may start to need longer sleeps. How will you know this?  Your baby will be cranky and not happy when up. Or your baby may wake cranky.

Remember

Short and long naps are part of baby sleep patterns. A short nap is a single sleep cycle and may be all your baby needs sometimes. A long sleep in more than one sleep cycle. A long sleep provides deep, restorative sleep that helps your baby feel great. As your baby grows their sleep cycles grow too. Don’t worry about the number of minutes your baby sleeps, watch their behaviour and adjust their sleep patterns accordingly

For more help with your baby's sleep contact us at leisa@nsyncwithinfants.com