How much sleep should my baby have?

How much sleep should my baby have?

Have you heard these well-meaning comments about your baby and their sleep?

“He’s a bit grumpy, are you overtired little man?”

“Surely it’s not nap time again! She’s sleeping her life away!”

The amount that baby sleeps is a common concern for many parents. There is so much noise around your baby and sleep, putting him or her to sleep and angst when it just doesn’t go to plan.

So often I hear, I can’t get her or him to sleep, that means that she/he won’t get enough sleep and will be over tired and then it will all fall apart and it will be awful and I don’t know what to do..

My dream is that we all understand baby sleep, parental influence and realistic expectations much more easily and that it will be an easier path than the one we have  now. It is improving but we still have a way to go.. Sometimes your baby will get great day sleep and not so good night sleep, other times it will vice versa.

All of it is normal for your baby.

I will let you in on a secret- there is no right amount of sleep for any baby.

There are ideas of what may be common, but each is an individual with different personality and needs. The trick is to work out what your little one needs.

For those of you who really want  some hard numbers- here is a very basic guide:

0-3 months about 16-20 hours a day.

3-6 months about 14-18 hours a day

6-12 months about 12-14 hours a day

12 months over 12-14 hours a day

There is nothing scientific in these numbers. This is simply what I have observed over years of assisting families with their little ones.

Not everyone will get this amount- and that is ok. Follow your baby’s lead and you can’t go wrong. Give plenty of opportunity for sleep and it usually works out exactly as you need it to.

For more check out leisabreed.com/….

Selfish or Self care???

Selfish or Self care???

I published on the blog a little while ago and thought it would be perfect to include in our self care month. I need this reminder lately.

Working out whether you are being selfish or merely self caring can be confusing and  something that causes many some angst.  This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others, and parents are doing that 24 hours a day to more than one other.

The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc.   This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best,  you have to put yourself first at times. That is something I have learned in more recent years and have found it to be so very true.  I have become happier from it too.  I certainly notice the difference in me, my reactions particularly, when I have had time for me to do my thing just for me.  Even for a snippet of time compared to what  I used to.

There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy.  Life is meant to be a balance.  In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others.  Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?

Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children.  While to an extent this may be necessary  in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.

Parents usually want to be good role models for their children. We all are better human beings when our needs are met if we are to be great role models for others , this is important to remember.

We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care.  Besides, no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.

So are you giving your best?  If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.

Give it a go.  It may be hard to say “no” to a request at first or to “ask” permission from your partner or children or to even start thinking about the possibility.  The fact remains it is important for your wellbeing to take care of you. Self care not selfish.

How are you going to give your self care today?

Soothing a crying baby

I am not trying to be misleading with the title of soothing a crying baby, however I am going to talk about latch and breastfeeding. 

[caption id="attachment_2346" align="alignleft" width="150"] better latch helps to soothe a crying baby[/caption]

It does make a difference to a crying baby who is trying their best to do the feeding but getting no joy and ultimately staying hungry, hence crying. It can be confusing when you start and your baby is feeding for lengthy period of time regularly but you are getting nowhere.

I was helping another cousin with breastfeeding yesterday and it prompted me to write this so that you can pass it on. Just a little about basics.

I am noticing a trend where mothers are being told to hold their breast away from their baby's nose when feeding. In her case it has caused her baby to suck only the nipple leading to bleeding nipples which has then led to low supply and early mastitis.

Baby's noses are designed to be flat and flanged so that they can get up close to the breast so the nipple can get drawn to the back of their mouth. If your baby can’t breathe he or she will detach from the breast.

This is important in the beginning , not so much  later on.

 My cousin said that she had mentioned while she was still in hospital that it was hurting.  The response was that it looks ok, yes, keep going you are doing great.

  She was doing great from the outside but when it still hurts and it looks ok , there is something else going on. Often I see the baby doing funky things with his or her tongue that is not easy to see from the outside. Sometimes it is more indepth but often it is reasonably simple.

  Usually all you need to do  when it looks good but still hurts, is to make sure the baby is better attached to the breast. This means that the baby has a mouthful of breast tissue not just nipple.  From the side their mouth would like the special K symbol with their lips flanged back.

 This means their tongue can extend forward, the nipple can get right to the back of their mouth where it I protected from being squashed and is more efficient and comfortable for both mother and baby.

  Your baby’s chin should be right into the breast  so it can also massage the breast and help get the milk out more efficiently.

If something is preventing all  or any of the  above to occur, latch may well be painful and damaging.  Once early interruption to milk supply occurs, it is harder to re-establish it again.  It is not impossible by any means  it just takes a little longer and with more effort.

 If you can get any tenderness or discomfort sorted early, your outcomes will be much better and often only takes a little tweak with attachment, or latch and positioning.  Your baby will be much more settled when feeding is more satisfying for him or her and soothing your crying baby will be easier.