Selfish or Self care???
I published on the blog a little while ago and thought it would be perfect to include in our self care month. I need this reminder lately.
Working out whether you are being selfish or merely self caring can be confusing and something that causes many some angst. This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others, and parents are doing that 24 hours a day to more than one other.
The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc. This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best, you have to put yourself first at times. That is something I have learned in more recent years and have found it to be so very true. I have become happier from it too. I certainly notice the difference in me, my reactions particularly, when I have had time for me to do my thing just for me. Even for a snippet of time compared to what I used to.
There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy. Life is meant to be a balance. In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others. Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?
Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children. While to an extent this may be necessary in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.
Parents usually want to be good role models for their children. We all are better human beings when our needs are met if we are to be great role models for others , this is important to remember.
We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care. Besides, no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.
So are you giving your best? If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.
Give it a go. It may be hard to say “no” to a request at first or to “ask” permission from your partner or children or to even start thinking about the possibility. The fact remains it is important for your wellbeing to take care of you. Self care not selfish.
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