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Baby crying during sleep

[caption id="attachment_2359" align="alignleft" width="150"] baby cry during sleep[/caption]

Have you heard your baby cry during the night, or day, during sleep?

It is a common thing and very normal for babies to do this. Even adults will talk, moan and make all sorts of noises in their sleep. 

Babies will cry during sleep.  This confuses and upsets a lot of parents.  Because it appears your baby is upset, parents may think their baby is awake and go and pick them up.  Sometimes, if your baby is actually still asleep, it may wake him or her when you do this. If this happens it often makes your baby more distressed because he or she is now woken from a lovely comfortable sleep.

It is the same as if you or I are woken from a sleep. We often feel more groggy , regardless of how much sleep we have had, and it may take us a little while to focus and “get our head together”, so to speak.

 The crying during sleep usually occurs when he or she is transitioning from REM sleep to a deeper form of sleep. It usually last no longer than about 5 minutes. In most occurrences it takes less than 2 minutes.  If you just wait a minute or two you may be surprised that your baby stops and continues to sleep more deeply all on their own.

 This can be difficult for parents to understand because the cry during sleep can be a big loud  cry and seem like there is something wrong.  Of course if your baby is distressed and needs you to help then absolutely you need to respond.  Sometimes it takes parents a couple of times to stop and realise that maybe their baby is ok and have the confidence to wait a minute or two before going to help.

 Other times when your baby will cry during sleep is if there is some form of discomfort from teeth, wind or other illness or injury. Of course give comfort when needed.

PS.  We always  encourage you  to respond to your baby crying if you know that your baby is distressed.

When Multiple Night Waking is not ok.

[caption id="attachment_1803" align="alignleft" width="150"] when multiple night waking is not ok[/caption]

 Getting a “good” nights’ sleep  when you are getting up to a baby who has multiple night wakings can feel impossible  and tiring for parents. And frustrating

 Young babies will wake a number of times at night and this is normal. Young babies need to feed more frequently and will be unsettled at times and so wake more. Expecting a newborn to sleep through the night is unrealistic.

 As babies settle into life with you usually nightime gets better and getting back to sleep gets easier. Older babies who wake frequently can be a frustration for parents because the longer you get broken nights sleep the more sleep drain builds up. Ideally as your baby grows and matures the number of times he or she wakes will reduce.

 Of course there are always going to be the times that your baby wakes overnight more than usual when they are unwell or out of sorts. That is to be expected and extra gentleness needed.

Average number of feeds for a newborn overnight is anywhere from 2-4.  From about 3 months anywhere from 1-3 feeds and up to 6 months or so waking for a feed at least once is normal. Some babies need a feed overnight for many more months and if  they have a big feed over night- that is normal too.

Usually if parents manage to get a decent block of sleep between feeds, they manage to adjust.  When it is impossible to get a decent sleep that’s when it becomes a problem for parents. It will pass as your baby grows.

When babies wake frequently overnight  and it is not hunger, it is often overtiredness that is the cause. When that happens we look at day and night sleep habits and see how we can build more sleep again.

Calming a crying baby

[caption id="attachment_2349" align="alignleft" width="150"] after calming your crying baby[/caption]

One of the most challenging things for new parents is their dealing with and calming their crying baby. I see new parents every week.  In fact I see new parents nearly everyday and this is usually their number one issue.

For most of us crying is usually seen as a negative thing.  Usually it is because it involves feelings of empathy in most of us and when we see someone else crying we know how it feels when you are so upset that it brings you to tears.
Of course there are happy tears too but for this discussion I am talking about sad tears.
For most parents when their baby cries it feels like there is something very wrong and that it is bad for your baby to cry. It doesn’t help when other people particularly strangers come up to you and give you advice on what you should do or why your baby is crying.  Of course they mean well but they are more than likely prompted by their own feelings of discomfort when they hear someone cry.  One parent said to me when someone did this to her in a shopping centre, “ Thank you for telling me what my baby needs, but a my baby’s mother I think I would know much better what she needs.”
What I am getting to is that baby’s cry. And yes they are telling you something but please don’t take it as a negative. When babies are little their crying is like talking only they don’t know how to put it into words yet. They are saying there is something going on with me, please help.  Sometimes it is just over tired and this can seem really hard to get your head around.
If you have gone through the list of possible things it might be, such as hungry, belly ache, happy, hot, cold, wind, it is probable that your baby just needs a sleep or rest. Sometimes it can take up to 20 minutes for your baby to calm, then to relax and then to get to sleep.
If you find it is just going on or if you are feeling concerned that something is not right ,ask someone.  Sometimes some reassurance is all you need or just a few different ideas on thing to try in calming a crying baby..

Soothing a crying baby

I am not trying to be misleading with the title of soothing a crying baby, however I am going to talk about latch and breastfeeding. 

[caption id="attachment_2346" align="alignleft" width="150"] better latch helps to soothe a crying baby[/caption]

It does make a difference to a crying baby who is trying their best to do the feeding but getting no joy and ultimately staying hungry, hence crying. It can be confusing when you start and your baby is feeding for lengthy period of time regularly but you are getting nowhere.

I was helping another cousin with breastfeeding yesterday and it prompted me to write this so that you can pass it on. Just a little about basics.

I am noticing a trend where mothers are being told to hold their breast away from their baby's nose when feeding. In her case it has caused her baby to suck only the nipple leading to bleeding nipples which has then led to low supply and early mastitis.

Baby's noses are designed to be flat and flanged so that they can get up close to the breast so the nipple can get drawn to the back of their mouth. If your baby can’t breathe he or she will detach from the breast.

This is important in the beginning , not so much  later on.

 My cousin said that she had mentioned while she was still in hospital that it was hurting.  The response was that it looks ok, yes, keep going you are doing great.

  She was doing great from the outside but when it still hurts and it looks ok , there is something else going on. Often I see the baby doing funky things with his or her tongue that is not easy to see from the outside. Sometimes it is more indepth but often it is reasonably simple.

  Usually all you need to do  when it looks good but still hurts, is to make sure the baby is better attached to the breast. This means that the baby has a mouthful of breast tissue not just nipple.  From the side their mouth would like the special K symbol with their lips flanged back.

 This means their tongue can extend forward, the nipple can get right to the back of their mouth where it I protected from being squashed and is more efficient and comfortable for both mother and baby.

  Your baby’s chin should be right into the breast  so it can also massage the breast and help get the milk out more efficiently.

If something is preventing all  or any of the  above to occur, latch may well be painful and damaging.  Once early interruption to milk supply occurs, it is harder to re-establish it again.  It is not impossible by any means  it just takes a little longer and with more effort.

 If you can get any tenderness or discomfort sorted early, your outcomes will be much better and often only takes a little tweak with attachment, or latch and positioning.  Your baby will be much more settled when feeding is more satisfying for him or her and soothing your crying baby will be easier.