I Miss Mummy
I had the pleasure of assisting a family having breastfeeding difficulties with their second baby. Their first child was a toddler, 3 years of age. While I was assisting the mother and new baby with breastfeeding there was lots of comings and goings. The toddler, Dad and Grandma were all busy. As we were talking the mother mentioned that they had terrible difficulty with the behaviour of their 3 year old that morning particularly, but also for the past few days.
Usually, Dad goes to work during the week and the toddler is home with Mummy. Their extended families live overseas. Grandma, “Mummy’s mother” had flown over to support the family with their new baby. She would stay with them for 3 months altogether to help out and to build a relationship with the toddler.
We discussed what they had been trying to do to build up a relationship between Grandma and the toddler. We also talked about what they were wanting to happen, and then some ideas about what they were trying with no success.
Seeing a new baby from the toddler’s point of view
We talked about seeing the situation from their toddler’s point of view. A new baby had entered the toddler’s life and practically turned it upside down. Suddenly Mum could see a new way, understand why the behaviour was occurring and then make plans to remedy it and move forward positively. It was enlightening. Both parents could see the role they inadvertently played in their toddler’s misbehaviour. With a bit of clarity, we discussed different things to focus on to help things change. Things like:
- Spend 1: 1 time without interruption
- Follow through on what you are saying you will do
- Include the toddler in activities that you need to do with the new baby
- Plan for those times that are potentially more high stress such as feeding.
Three little words - I miss Mummy
What made it all the more clear for them were 3 little words. During the consultation Dad and the toddler went out to visit a friend. They returned while I was still there. Dad gave a brief account of the toddler’s poor behaviour while they were out. All 3 of us , Mum, Dad and I had tears in our eyes as he told us how the lady they had visited asked their toddler why she was behaving this way. The 3 words that brought tears to our eyes were simply…
“I Miss Mummy”.
If You are having more challenges than you would like and feeling like you and your toddler are both losing out more than you'd like, something needs to change. You, your toddler and your baby deserve to have this transition time be as smooth as possible. You all deserve awesome days.
Our Toddler Tricks video series outlines lots of helpful strategies and troubleshooting for common toddler challenges.
It's available on our website here - Toddler Tricks Check it out now!
No comments:
Post a Comment