The importance of grandparents is often something we don’t stop and think about. Most of us adored our grandparents. There is something special about their role and the relationship they have with grandchildren. Families are blessed when grandparents can take a role in the lives of children, adding to the ‘villiage’ required to raise a child.
Becoming a grandparent is an exciting time, but also a daunting one. Our own grandparents were always wrinkly, kind and fun, weren’t they? How does one become a fantastic grandparent? Not being a grand parent myself I am writing this article (and others this month) from the point of view of being a grandchild and from the collective wisdom of the Insync with Infants community, feedback from grandparents themselves and new parents whose children now have grandparents.
There are five essential qualities that every fantastic grandparent possesses:
1.Fun - A great sense of fun makes a great grandparent! No-one enjoys the company of a dreary, negative influence. Have fun with your grandchild. You get to play again and it’s accepted. We all love playing It’s gives us life and makes us lighter and more enjoyable to be around. Your children are responsible for the hard stuff - for the parenting. You get to enjoy little children without the responsibility of discipline etc. You have the perfect excuse to be a kid again. Enjoy and have fun with them.
2. Authenticity - take the pressure off and let the real you shine.
Anyone who is trying to be something or someone they are not is really unattractive. Little ones are so clever, they see through ingenuousness in a flash. Be yourself with your grandkids. Share your interests and hobbies. If you try to be too hip, too modern or something you are not, it will fall flat. Just be yourself and your grandchildren will love you as you are. That’s unconditional love.
3. Storytelling- share your history and your life today.
Grandchildren are often fascinated by old people. From saggy skin to walking sticks, funny clothes and false teeth, grandparents can be an enigma to children. Share photos of when you were young. Share stories of when you were young. They will get a laugh out of funny hairstyles and clothes from your younger days and marvel at the way the world used to be. Perhaps you don’t look or smell like a traditional grandparent. You still have stories! Embarass your children by telling your grandchildren stories from their youth! Pass on the stories your grandparents told you!
4. Openness - always listen, be open and forgiving of grandchildren.
One of the best ways to foster a relationship with your grandchildren is for them to know that they can trust you. That if you tell them something big, you are not going to judge them. Remember, they are learning their way through life. They are going to make mistakes, probably the same ones you did. It is just learning. Be a good friend and just listen. You may have to listen for an hour and monitor your response, but if you just listen and reserve judgement you will be amazed at how much more your grandchildren will open to you. Remember you are not the parent.
5. Reserve - only give advice when asked!
This must be the hardest thing of all for grandparents to do for their children. When you can see objectively something that could be easier just because you have lived it, it can be really hard to hold your tongue and not offer words of wisdom. By all means speak up if you are asked. However, as with all of us, advice that is offered without request can ruffle feathers. To build the relationship with your children as parents be a good listener and offer advice/ideas/ opinions only if you are asked.
No comments:
Post a Comment