New Mama Self Care

 

Working out whether you are being selfish or merely anew mama self caring can be confusing and  something that causes many some angst.  This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others, and parents are doing that 24 hours a day to more than one other.

 

The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc.   This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best,  you have to put yourself first at times. That is something I have learned in more recent years and have found it to be so very true.  I have become happier from it too.  I certainly notice the difference in me, my reactions particularly, when I have had time for me to do my thing just for me.  Even for a snippet of time compared to what  I used to.

 

There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy.  Life is meant to be a balance.  In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others.  Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?

 

Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children.  While to an extent this may be necessary  in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.



It is also ok to want to have time out from your baby. It is important to have time out from your baby. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or that you don’t love your baby. Quite the opposite.  It means that you love your baby so much that you want to give him or her the best of you.  The best way to do that is to take care of you.  Most women feel selfish if they think this way.  It is not selfish just self care.  If you take care of you, you will take care of your baby better purely because you are not so drained.  You need to fill your bucket as much as the next person and especially now that you are giving so much of yourself to your baby. Remember you are a person in your own right and not only a mother now.  Remember you and honour you.

 

Try to have a break from your baby everyday.  Find one thing to be thankful for everyday.

 

Take time out from your baby as soon as you can.  Go for a short walk to the end of the street, around the block.   Have a long shower.  Have a coffee with your feet up. Do it. Do it every day. Leave your baby with your partner- he or she will manage.  5 minutes may be all you can manage to start with. Build on that each week. Talk with your partner about what’s important as far as settling strategies etc and then trust them- you know you can. You being upset doesn’t help anyone.

 

We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care.  Besides, no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.

 

So are you giving your best?  If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.