Help your baby sleep well at night.

 
For most new parents the shock of regular night waking to feed your baby can be mind blowing.  This is usually the number one difficulty for new parents to adapt to and get their head around.

It is realistic  to expect your newborn to feed overnight up until they are about 6 months of age.  Many babies will stop night feeds well before this time, however it is important to know that it is normal for babies to still require a feed at night until about the age of 6 months.

Fortunately there are a number of habits you can employ to help your baby learn that night time is boring and that sleeping is the best thing to do at night.

One of the most helpful strategies to help newborns sleep well is to swaddle or wrap them.  Use a muslin,  or natural fibre fabric is important so that your baby does not over heat or smother if the wrap moves up near their face.  Natural fibres breathe more, and keep us warm by trapping air next to our skin.  By wrapping your baby for sleep particularly at night, it offers a sense of security, keeps them warm and helps minimise the startle reflex. Remember newborns are looking for security and safety, if there is nothing for their arms to touch, it sends them a message that their environment is not safe so they better wake up. Wrapping can minimise this and encourage sleep from a sense of security. Adding layers of blankets over the wrap and dressing them in layers can help keep them warm  in colder seasons.

At night when you need to feed your baby, try to keep stimulation to as little as possible.  This means keep lights down low.  Remember what it feels like to wake up in darkness and put on a bright light? It’s a bit of a shock to our system. Keep lights down low so that it is less waking for your baby.

Use a gentle calm, softer quiet voice and keep talking to a minimum.

Only change your baby’s nappy if you need to.  If you are using disposables- they are designed to absorb  fluid away from the skin.  If you don’t need to change it, then don’t.

Avoid play time at night.  Remember just because they are ready for play doesn’t mean you have to play with them.  There is plenty of opportunity to play during the day.

By reducing stimulation, it encourages your baby to settle back to sleep easier.  To encourage swift night settling, do what you need to do for your baby, then settle back to bed again as soon as practical.

Your bay will soon learn that night is boring and day time is when the party time is.

Sleeping through the night - what exactly does this mean?

 
What is sleeping through the night for one parent may not be the same definition to another.  When I am helping families with their baby and children’s sleep,  I often hear  anecdotes of friends with babies the same age who reportedly “ sleep  through the night”. This can be quite distressing for some who are feeling very sleep deprived and that they are somehow doing something wrong because their baby is not doing what others babies of the same age are.  Particularly when sleep is so precious.

With further questioning from me, often, the report of sleeping through the night is different to their  idea of sleeping through the night.  It is definitely open to interpretation.  And given that we all have different backgrounds, expectations, supports ,  lifestyles and personalities this is not surprising. Our expectations are definitely open to interpretation and just like Chinese whispers, the story can sometimes morph a little in the delivery with no intention.

Sleeping through the night means something different to everyone.  The variations include sleeping for 6 hours in one go, sleeping through one feed over night, sleeping 10 hours in one go, waking 3-4 hourly for feeds and going straight back to sleep.

I have heard these reports of sleeping through the night from different people when I question them further on what exactly is happening during the night.

My point for you is to bear this in mind when interrupted sleep with your little one is leaving you questioning whether you are doing something wrong. OR when your friends or acquaintances report that their baby, the same age as yours sleeps through the night.

Ask others directly if baby feeds during the night, how often, what time.  When you ask them exactly what happens sometimes reality is a little different to your idea.

It is not wrong, just perception and expectation differences.

Generally, most babies will still wake overnight at least once until about 6 months of age.  It is often  earlier, and that is a bonus, however we would not expect it until then.

 

Time Magazine cover Attachment Parenting

Not sure how many of you saw this cover on Time in the last few months.  It has caused quite a stir which is of course what the magazine wants.

On the face of it, it appeared to be presented to me that attachment parenting involved breastfeeding.  And unless you are breastfeeding, you are not raising your children with the attachment parenting principles.

That isn’t what the article is about.  And previous articles and news items I feel have also projected this same idea.

What is attachment parenting?  To me it is simply responding to your child in a timely manner. Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding doesn’t matter, it is the relationship you are building and the trust that is forming that is important.

As with all things, there can be extremes. With attachment parenting the extreme on one end is that the baby is breastfed, in contact with the parent for the first 3 months unhindered, and continue to be in contact with the parent for a large part of the day from there after. Breastfeeding is often continued for as long as the child wants which may be up to 5-7 years in some cases. The children sleep with the parents until they no longer wish to.  There are other aspects of attachment however these 2 topics make up the bulk of the debates.

From where I stand, I don’t believe that the extreme is for everyone. There has to be a place for the middle road, for personal choice of what suits your circumstances and experiences. For some,  wearing their baby 24/7 would send them into a head spin.

There is enough pressure to be a prefect parent as it is and in reality no one is perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes and that is ok because mistakes are just lessons.

 

Startle reflex

 
Babies, until the age of 3-4 months will display the startle reflex where they throw out both their arms as if having had a sudden scare.  The presence if this shows a nervous system that is working.   Theoretically, the thought is that when we were cavemen, this reflex was a primitive safety reflex.  Imagine we were a hairy race, I mean long hair all over our bodies.  If someone was holding a baby and for some reason the baby was to fall or be dropped, the reflex would provide a possibility of safety.

Babies also have a strong grasp reflex.  This is when we put our finger in their palm, they will grasp it very tightly. So, in the scenario mentioned, when a baby falls , they will startle, and whatever their palms touch, they will grasp onto.

The startle reflex comes into play with sleep also.  As with a lot of us, when we are going off to sleep, sometimes there is a sense of falling.  That is why  babies will show  the startle reflex when they are going off to sleep.  Often, but not always, this can wake them up, when they were almost off to sleep.

Babies sometimes will startle when they come into a light sleep state  for the same reason.

It is for this reason that we encourage young babies(under 3 months), to be wrapped or swaddled to go off to sleep.  Being swaddled gives them a sense of security when they startle by offering a firm resistance to their arms when they lift them in a startle.

Babies go to sleep easily when being cuddled against your chest  too. They can’t startle because their arms are next to your chest and can’t physically  reach out because your chest is stopping it.

By the way, babies sleep well on their tummies because they can’t startle.  Tummy sleeping is strongly discouraged because of SIDS risks.  This has been proven over years of research from this wonderful organisation.

Primitive cultures also note this. Through research, it has been shown that these cultures instinctively also put their babies to sleep on their backs for the same reason.

 

Night waking

 
Most parents tell me they can handle anything if they all get a good night sleep with no night waking by their baby or toddler.

Of course we all expect younger babies to wake at night for feeds.  When babies are older and start to sleep through the night even if only for a few nights, it can be really nice to get a whole eight hours in one go.  Some would say even four, five or six hours is heaven after months of interrupted sleep.   It is truly amazing what our bodies are capable of dealing with on little sleep.

Night waking can be annoying and confusing.

If day sleep is great and there are no other behaviour difficulties, it can mean they just need to go to bed a little earlier in the evening.   This may be particularly so if they are waking before midnight and then a couple of times after as well.

Remember sleep builds sleep.  So if sleep is interrupted, stop and think whether they are getting enough overall.

If they are really cranky before going to bed in the evening this can be a big red flag saying I need to go to bed earlier because I am just so tired I feel like %^&**^^%.

It isn’t always this straight forward, sometimes it is tricky to work out and can be just a habit that has formed.

Sometimes they may be cold and even though it sounds straight forward, this one is often missed because we think they can’t possibly be cold.  Remember their bodies are smaller than ours and have less heat producing ability in comparison to us.

If there are 2 parents sharing a bed they get warmth from each other. So stop and think about this one particularly if the waking is after midnight or just before dawn when the temperatures drop.

All in one suits are warmer than 2 piece pyjamas and sleeping bags can be a good substitute underneath  blankets.

I hope this gives some food for thought

Breastfeeding as a SIDS preventor

 
I heard this week that the SIDS organisation have recently announced that breastfeeding definitely is a protective factor against  SIDS.

For those who work with infants particularly, this is a long suspected fact however there has been no definitive announcement until recently.

The SIDS organisation was commenced in the mid 1980’s and since its inception, has significantly reduced the number of SIDS deaths in Australia and around the world.

The statistics since it’s inception are available on their website if you are interested. SIDS and Kids has over 20 years of research on infants and unexplained deaths.  The highest risk time for SIDS is between 2-4 months, continuing till 6 months at a high rate and on to 18 months at a lower rate.

From their research and statistics they have recently reviewed and come up with the recommendation that you breastfeed for as long as possible.

This is nothing startling to anyone I know, however from a safe sleep point of view it is a new statement.

I am guessing it is to do with the fact that breastfed babies tend to stir more frequently and so not get into such a deep sleep for as long.   Their research suggests the risk is reduced by half when you breastfeed for as long as possible.

All their previous recommendations apply. Their updated recommendations are as follows.

The six ways to sleep baby safely and reduce the risk of sudden and unexpected death in infancy:   

1.Sleep baby on the back from birth, not on the tummy or side   

 2.Sleep baby with head and face uncovered   

 3.Keep baby smoke free before birth and after   

 4.Provide a safe sleeping environment night and day   

 5.Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve months   

 6.Breastfeed baby if you can.

In the times when breastfeeding is interrupted prematurely, implementing the additional recommendations about safe sleeping will continue to offer steps to reduce the risk of SIDS.

The link to their website-   http://www.sidsandkids.org/category/news/

Sleep Builds Sleep

 
Sleep , sleep and more sleep.  Those of you who know me and my philosophy on sleep which I learned from learning, observation and helping 100’s of families with this topic, know that I see that sleep builds sleep.

It becomes clear that as a baby or toddler and even children and adults manage to get more sleep, they find it easier to go to sleep  each time.  My theory is that they learn what to do, they learn that they feel better after good sleep, and they are no longer overtired which makes it harder to get to sleep for all of us because we are too wound up and find it hard to relax and switch off.

That is all very well and good but how do you get the sleep in the first place.

Starting the process is the most challenging part and does required understanding of sleep and consistency in what you teach your baby or toddler for sleep.

Routines are very helpful to help sleep grow.  They work by giving your baby or toddler consistent signals and habits in what to do.  Babies, toddlers and children thrive with consistent habits or routines because they can predict what will happen and so they feel safe and secure.  When their world is predictable, they know what to expect.

When you change what they know, they will protest initially because they want what they know.  With consistency and working in with how they are thinking, it can be achieved relatively painlessly.

Starting helpful sleep habits and routines early can be a great benefit to helping your baby sleep adequately.  When babies get plenty of sleep they are happier and enjoy their world much more, they are more interactive and responsive.

Parents consistently comment on how happy their baby is when they have managed to help them develop helpful sleep habits to get more sleep.