Introverts and extroverts

I found this on Pinterest and found it practical. It feels that there is pressure for all kids to be outgoing. WE are all different and have our own uniqueness. Please don't push your introverted child to be someone they are not. EMbrace their gifts - they have so much to offer.

Source: decrescenzio.blogspot.com via Cheri on Pinterest

Quality time

Quality time.

 I have often heard of spending quaity time and sometimes it isn't really clear what that is.  Certianly it is different for everyone particularly in what the activity is. I found this and thought it had another spin on quality time so thought I'd share it with you.  Her words are a little more eloquent than mine.
Quoted from Regarding Baby.  A site that looks at ways if interacting consciously  and respectfully with little ones for their and their caregivers best outcomes.

“When I studied with Magda Gerber, she often talked about the importance of the quality of attention adults brought to interactions with children. She stressed the necessity of slowing down, and really focusing, and bringing our full attention to the child.

In her post Magda Gerber’s Gift To Grown Ups, Janet Lansbury writes about two kinds of quality time we can spend with babies and toddlers: “One of the gifts that I am most grateful for is Magda Gerber’s description of two types of ‘quality time.’

The first kind: “wants something” quality time is when we have a task to do with a baby like diapering, feeding, bathing, or clipping his toenails, and we challenge ourselves to slow down,  ignoring our instinct to zip through it as quickly as possible. We try to focus on the experience, talking the baby through each step, asking for cooperation, sometimes dealing with resistance.

It suddenly occurs to us, “What’s the rush? Is there anything more important than this time together right now? Why are these moments with a child any less important than his ‘play time’?” The child looks into our eyes as if to ask us what will happen next, and we realize that we are indeed having an intimate moment together.

The second kind of quality time, “wants nothing,” can encompass a wide range of experiences, but all we are asked to do is pay attention and have no agenda of our own. It can mean being quietly available as a baby explores patterns of light on a blanket beneath him, or standing nearby while he has a screaming meltdown because he cannot have another cookie.

It may be trickier to see the benefit for parents and caregivers in this latter scenario, but it is clarity. When we pay full attention to our child for intervals each day, no matter what the tone of our exchange or the outcome is, we are giving him the quality time he needs. We are doing our job.”  

Magda taught an exercise that I find helpful to this day in achieving this quiet, present state of mind. She suggested that before entering a parent/infant class, or before beginning a care giving task with babies, adults should take a moment to consciously slow down, and empty the contents of their minds into a basket (real or imaginary). Imagine depositing all of your worries, your lists of things that need to be done, your thoughts about what to make for dinner, into that basket, and saying to yourself, “I am leaving you here now, but I promise I’ll be back to pick you up soon.” It’s such a simple thing to do, but for me, has been very powerful.”

sleeping through the night

Sleeping through the night

How do I get my little one to be sleeping through the night easily is a common question I get asked about.
Often it is from tired, frustrated and exhausted parents who want to give their little one what they need but are struggling to cope with broken sleep.

The answer is not as straight forward as you may think, however it is so very common.   The age of your baby or toddler is the biggest deciding factor.

For young babies, perhaps until about 6 months of age at least, it is quite normal and common to be waking at least once during the night for a feed.  If your baby is older and still skulling a whole bottle in the night, then your baby probably still needs a feed overnight and while that is a need, it is unrealistic generally to try to manage anything differently or to expect anything different.

Unfortunately it is an individual timeframe as to when your little one can manage sleeping through the night.  Even when they are getting plenty of solids during the day, sometimes it may take a while for them to stretch through the night.

Patience again is a virtue when it comes to night sleep.

An important factor, is to get your little one into bed in the evening at a time when he or she is not over tired.  This may be earlier than you think.

In my experience, most little ones who wake frequently at night just need to go to bed a little earlier. Frequent night waking is often a sign of not getting enough sleep.

The quality of day sleep can also affect night sleep. Again if your little one is getting poor day sleep, it may affect your little ones’ ability for sleeping through the night.

 

Selfish or self care

Selfish or Self care

Working out whether you are being selfish or merely self caring can be confusing and  something that causes many some angst.  This is a challenge for all of us but especially those caring for others.
The “right” thing to do, or the “nice” thing to do is to be there for others, put others first,etc.   This is great however no one ever told me that to be able to be at your best to, give others your best,  you have to put yourself first at times.

There is no point giving, giving, giving when you have nothing left in the tank to enjoy.  Life is meant to be a balance.  In order to enjoy giving, we also need to enjoy receiving. It is a two way street. Think how good you feel when you give to others.  Is it right to deny that feeling for someone else?

Parents particularly seem to feel a greater burden of putting themselves second behind their children.  While to an extent this may be true in some aspects, there still needs to be some room for self care.  WE all are better human beings when Our needs are met and if we are to be great role models for others , this is an important aspect.

We can’t expect others to respect us and help us if we don’t respect our selves. Part of self respect is self care.  Besides no-one enjoys being with someone who is so exhausted and unhappy that they are cranky and not fun to be around.

So are you giving your best?  If you are not getting some time out from your day to day activities with some fun, chances are that your best is yet to come.

Give it a go.  It may be hard to say “no” to a request at first or to “ask” permission from your partner or children or to even start thinking about the possibility.  The fact remains it is important for your wellbeing to take care of you. Self care.

How are you going to give your self care?

Routines like the famous

Routines like the famous

Best time to think about routines or habits is once you get over the newborn adjustment phase and things are starting to settle down a little.  For most new parents this is anywhere between about 3 and 8 weeks.

When I say think about , that is what I mean,- just start thinking about it.  What is it you want for your routine in your day and what do you need for that to happen- realistically.

Of course we’d all love to have the nanny, cook, cleaner and general helper.  Wouldn’t that be great- just like all those famous people do. Even if you could have one of these just for one or two hours a week may be the answer for you.

It is individual  so please don’t feel pressured into getting a routine as a lot of new parents do.  This usually comes from well meaning others and is usually their way of helping.

Most babies fall into a routine as you both fall into a pattern and learn about each other.  Some will establish a routine as early as 3 months, others will take longer. Generally, the best time to really  help your baby into routines or habits is between the ages of about 4 to 6 or 7 months of age.

During this time, they have built their trust in you. For those who want to have their baby self settle, this is the prime opportunity to really cement that skill.

All babies are born with the ability to self settle.  Very young babies can do it but need help from an adult for most sleeps.

As they mature, they usually will do it more frequently but it is still important to help them when they need help and equally allow them to do it when they can.

Remember they are very clever little beings with skills and abilities that surprise us.

 

Parents needed for survey on family health services

For your info and interest.

Parents needed for survey on family health services

The Child Health: Researching Universal Services (CHoRUS)team is looking for parents with children aged 0 - 5 years to participate in anonline survey to share their experiences and thoughts about current child andfamily health services. The findings of the study will help professionals andfamilies who use child and family health services to come together to improveservices. To take the survey, please go to www.uws.edu.au/chorus before 20 October2012.

Qld Centre for Mothers & Babies

Easy Peaceful sleep for your baby- so you both feel good!

 Our series of Webinars on helping your baby  sleep will be offered again in November. Stay tuned or contact us to register your interest. - leisa@insyncwithinfants.com.