Infant massage

Infant massage

Most of us have heard about infant massage.   A large number of us enjoy massage as adults. Not everyone does- I acknowledge that, however, the proof remains that gentle touch is important for all and especially babies and children.  It is something that is comforting to all for our whole lives.

There is often speculation from those who don’t enjoy massage themselves a to how it is helpful for babies.  The following quote  sums it up:

“When parents and babies are attuned (or tuned in) to each other, they use lots of facial expressions, eye contact and physical touch to communicate and interact. This communication helps a baby regulate not only their emotions, but also their vital functions such as heart rate (e.g. Morgan, Horne & Bergman, 2011), hormone levels, and even brain function” (Schore, 2006).(taken from AIMA)

When babies are relaxed, they are happier and easier to care for in that their cues are more clear.  Massage can be very useful particularly in those early months to help soothe and settle babies. Infant massage used regularly can help  parent and baby form and strengthen their bond. The use of massage regularly has a cumulative effect and works more effectively than when used sporadically or only when the baby is wound up.

Infant massage can be done by mums and dads.  All you need is a comfortable surface for your baby at a height that is comfortable for you.  Use a warmed 100% pure vegetable or plant oil and use long, calm strokes along the full length of limbs and down their back and tummy.  Ensure the air temperature is nice and comfortable so your baby enjoys getting naked and not too cold.

For parents wanting to learn specifics of infant massage there are many courses run by massage professionals to help you. The International Association of infant massage – website below-

http://www.iaim.org.au/benefits-of-infant-massage.asp

has interesting reading and links  relating to infant massage including books, and free publications.

Of course it goes without saying that infant massage can enhance sleep for your baby just by helping your baby relax.

Autism

Hi all,

These 2 notices were sent to me to share with any interested parties. Thanks Janet Camilleri for these.

 

Building a Secure Attachment for Your Baby

Building a Secure Attachment for Your Baby

I just wanted to share with you another tool that I really like about building a secure attachment with your baby.  It’s also from the Circle of Security people.  I love it’s simplicity.

 • The Name of the Game is Delight:      Babies are “hard-wired” to experience joy with their caregivers in the early months of life. Researchers are finding that mutual joy is the basis for increased brain growth. A baby feels more secure knowing that “Life is good, because my parent enjoys life when s/he is with me.”

• Every Baby Needs a Holding Environment:    Babies soak up affection and love through their skin. Gentle touch shares the tenderness that every infant requires. Playful touch encourages joy. Holding your baby not only provides pleasure and reassurance, it is essential in helping to soothe and organize difficult feelings.

• “The Eyes Have It:”    Gaze into your baby’s eyes from the first day of life, and pay close attention to when your child wants to look back. At about six weeks, your child will regularly focus in on your eyes and read what they are “saying.” Lots of pleasurable eye contact will translate into a feeling of reassurance and connection for your baby.

 • Whenever Possible, Follow Your Child’s Lead:     Security of attachment requires a caregiver who is sensitive and responsive to her/his child’s needs. Your willingness to answer subtle requests for attention, comfort, holding, exploration, and discovery (with you nearby) will provide an increased sense of security for your child.

• You Can’t Spoil a Baby:     Contrary to those who may be saying that you will harm your child if you are “too responsive” to her/his needs, it isn’t possible to spoil a baby in the first 9-10 months of life. Researchers are finding that the most responsive parents actually have children who are less demanding and more self-reliant as they grow older.

• Stay With Your Child During Difficult Feelings:     Young children often have upset feelings (anger, hurt, sadness, fear) that are too difficult to manage on their own. When your child has an intense feeling, stay with her/him until the feeling has been worked through. Your child will be learning basic trust: “Someone is here with me when I am in difficulty and pain,” and “I can count on a good outcome to follow a difficult experience.”

• Talk Out Loud about Feelings:     From your child’s earliest days, talking out loud about feelings (your child’s and your own) will begin to help your child to eventually label feelings and realize that they can be shared. As your child gets older, s/he will realize that intense feelings can be named (mad, sad, glad, and afraid) and discussed with another, thus ending a need to act them out.

• “Mistakes Happen (You Only Need To Be “Good Enough”):      Perfection is impossible in parenting. In fact, it isn’t even recommended. A child who knows that everyone in the family makes mistakes, and that they will eventually be worked out, will feel more secure than a child who thinks everything has to be right the first time.

 • Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind:     At the heart of secure attachment is a child’s recognition that s/he has a parent who can be counted on to lovingly provide tenderness, comfort, firm guidance and protection during the inevitable difficulties of life. If the truth be told, all of us have this need some of the time, no matter what our age.

© Cooper, Hoffman, Marvin, & Powell – 2000 circleofsecurity.org

Attachment parenting - 60 minutes

 Attachment parenting - 60 minutes

I saw the 60 minutes program  a few weeks ago about attachment parenting which was aired on the back of the Time magazine article some months ago. This attachment parenting topic is getting so much attention .
Again I was disappointed to feel that the underpinning attachment parenting activity is to breastfeed until your child chooses to stop and the sleeping alongside with your baby debate. I definitely support breastfeeding and the idea of children with a healthy attachment to their parents and other close adults, however there are a number of issues that reports such as the sixty minutes program presented that give me cause for concern.
The first is that to choose attachment parenting means that you have to breastfeed. From my understanding, breastfeeding is one aspect of attachment parenting, however ensuring your child receives adequate nutrition must over ride breastfeeding in those circumstances where breastfeeding just does not happen successfully despite the mothers best efforts. I fear this type of hype alienates those mothers for whom breastfeeding just doesn’t work for various reasons.
Another concern is that in the sixty minutes program, it was mentioned that if everybody practised attachment parenting all the parenting manuals and books would be obsolete. Not so. There would be a rush of new manuals on how to parent following attachment principles.

Programs such as sixty minutes just give a snippet of information and give parents the world over a new reason to worry that they are not being a good enough parent and put more pressure on new parents to be perfect parents.
There is far more to attachment parenting than extended breastfeeding and sharing a bed with your baby or child. Attachment parenting focusses on a healthy emotional bond between a child and significant others in their world.
Responsiveness to your child’s needs, managing your own emotions and beliefs, being a good role model, looking after yourself, being aware of your limitations and being the parent who is bigger, wiser, kinder, stronger and helps their child learn how to navigate their way in the world confidently and safely are far more important in my view.
Doing all of this requires a parent to be the parent. No small feat by any means however one that many parents achieve daily.

Attachment parenting will be a topic of conversation for some time to come  I think.

When do I have to move my baby into a toddler bed?

This is a common question I hear from parents.  As with most things there is no one right answer.

The timing of when to move your toddler into their own bed varies. For some this doesn’t happen for quite some time, maybe when their child is closer to three years of age or longer, depending on the family sleeping arrangements, values and beliefs.

For others this happens quite early depending on many things one of which is that a new sibling comes along a little earlier than planned and thus their cot is needed for the new baby.

For families who share a sleeping surface, a cot may not even feature in their home so this hurdle may never arise. It may simply be a case of sharing beds during the night.  One of my friends with three little boys simply swapped beds all night long.  They would move around from bed to bed sleeping with others or sleeping alone for some part of the night until someone came and joined them. These children simply learned to be independent in choosing where they slept – sometimes with Mum and sometimes with Dad.  Sometimes all three boys were in the one bed and mum and dad in another.  For them there was no issue about moving from a cot to a bed because the baby was hardly ever in the cot and got used to being in beds from an early age.  I am not advocating this for everyone.

It worked for my friends but does not suit the majority of families.

As a general guide, when your toddler starts to climb out of the cot is a strong signal to move them into their own bed.  This is clearly a safety consideration rather than anything else.

Some parents will push this time and their toddler may stay in their cot for much longer.

Again it depends on the child and the parents and what works. Safety is usually the driving factor.

Tummy time

Tummy time is still important for your baby. Now that we sleep babies on their back and they are playing lying on their back more, we sometimes see babies with a part of their head that is flattened.

It is usually behind one of their ears or it is the back of their head. This is the reason we encourage you to give your baby tummy time from an early age.

Part of the reason is that it encourages good neck strength.  Babies will be happy to stay on their tummy longer if they are strong enough to hold and move their head.  Short frequent amounts of time are better than occasional long periods of time. Start with 5-10 seconds and lengthen it as they get stronger.

A good time is when you change their nappy, flip them over.  Don’t make them stay longer if they are not happy.   If they don’t like it and you force it, this will teach them that it is not a nice place to be and just keep fighting it. Tummy time helps prevent their heads flattening- called plagiocephaly.

You can start to give your baby tummy time as soon as they are born.  However, this is not something to concern yourself with initially.

When your baby is 6 weeks old you definitely need to start giving them tummy time if you haven’t started yet. Watch for head flattening by looking at their head from above.  You can see it is even and round on both sides.  If your baby’s head starts to flatten you can usually see this  either on left or right side of their head behind their ears.  Again look from above.  Sometimes the back of their head is flat which pushes the sides of their head forward.  Sometimes it can cause their forehead to be uneven.

Baby’s skull bones are still soft until about 6 months of age.  If you catch the flattening early, you can reverse it.  It will take effort and for you to be consistent in working on getting their position right to reverse it.

If it is left too long, some baby’s are given a helmet to help.  Sometimes the bones in their head are fused and it is too late to reverse it.  Generally it does not interfere with development.  It is a cosmetic thing.

Of course another way to avoid your baby developing a flattened head is to use a pouch or sling often in their early months with you.  It doesn’t have to be all the time, but if it works for you, it is a great tool to use have your baby with you but have your hands free to do other things as well and your baby will usually love just being with you.

Cot safety

I thought I would mention a little about recommended  features of a safe cot according to Australian Safety Standards. Australia has fairly high standards of safety compared to other countries.  Most of the items for sale in shops meet these standards.  However, what about those items imported from overseas, for sale on ebay or garage sale?

1. What are the safety features to look for on Cots?

Minimum spaces between bars of 50mm;

Maximum spaces of 95mm;

No protrusion hazards;

No lead based paints;

No entrapment hazards;

Devices to stop the cot moving, that is wheel locks or only two wheels;

Instructions on recommended mattress size.

Consumers should also read the Australian safety standard AS2172 for further information.

Cots - Portable

1. Is it safe to use secondhand portacots?

Only cots that comply with the current safety standard should be used. It is always difficult to evaluate whether secondhand cots comply with the latest safety standards.

In recent years major design changes have resulted in improvements to the safety of these products and unless consumers are certain that a secondhand product complies with the new standard they should avoid using secondhand portacots.

2. Can I use any mattress in a portable cot?

No. Only the original mattress supplied by the manufacturer of the portable cot should be used in the product. Additional mattresses should never be used in a portable cot.

The original mattress will provide sufficient support for an infant up to the weight of 15 kg. Portable cots are not recommended for use by infants once they exceed this weight.

Cot safety is important from newborn right through until your toddler is in a bed.

Additional information can be found at Kidsafeqld.com.au.  It is physically situated behind the Royal Brisbane Hospital at Herston. I hope this helps.