Changing sleep associations

 

Changing sleep associations is probably one of the most common difficulties parents struggle with in regard to their little ones’ sleep.

  Sometimes parents are unaware that this is what they are truly wanting or needing to do.  They just know that what they are doing right at this time is no longer working for them and their baby.  Typically the scenario is that the parents are exhausted, teary and feeling frustrated.  Their baby is crying and screaming “constantly” or what feels to them like constantly, their baby looks tired with bags under their eyes and catnaps or only sleeps with mum or dad, being rocked, held or fed.  In essence their baby “needs” them to go to sleep and long sleeps which are therapeutic are non existent.

 Typically, I hear “I need help, when can you come?”  

For most parents who find themselves in this situation, even being able to think clearly enough to change what they are doing can be difficult in itself.  This is often the case that parents can’t see the “wood for the trees”.

 Luckily this scenario can be changed.  How long it takes depends on many factors.  How the parents feel, their beliefs and values, their baby’s temperament and how long the practice of what they have been doing has been going on.

Babies and toddlers love routine or habit.  Habits make their world predictable so they can judged what will happen and this gives them security and comfort when they can predict their world a little.

So when we want to change what they know, they will not like it initially even if it is in their best interests such as getting better sleep.  They don’t know it is for the better , just that it is different to what they know and trust.

 Hence,  if this habit has been happening for many months rather than weeks, it will take longer to change.  It is similar  to adults.  If we have been doing something for many years , that habit is harder to change than one that we have only had for a number of months or weeks.

With that in mind,  when you start to change a sleep habit, or association, for your baby, be prepared for it to take  some time for your baby to be ok with it.